I will be campaigning in West Virginia tomorrow and possibly Tuesday. If possible, I will find a place to give a speech on “family values.” I don’t know how much of an impact I will have there, but one never knows until one tries.
Category Archives: Platform
I am on my way to Eugene, Oregon for the rally tonight. I am currently over eastern Kentucky on my way to Chicago. From Chicago, I will board a flight to Portland, OR, and from Portland to Eugene. I should arrive in Eugene at 4:45 PDT.
I am not thrilled with airport security. I have two carry-on bags and they chose to inspect the bag with the “Hello Kitty” doll I got for Christmas. One inspector laughed when she saw the doll and yapped it up with the other inspectors.
I am thankful I didn’t wear my “Hello Kitty” socks. Everybody would have been laughing.
My campaign will be hitting the road with little time for rest. I leave here Friday morning for Eugene, Or. I will be giving a speech at the WOW Hall Friday at 7:00. I leave Saturday at 6AM so I can be at Churchill Downs for an animal rights speech. Included in that speech will be animals having the right to be part of my diet and a horses right to race.
If I become president, I would invest heavily in Frito-Lay. That is because if I win, I would sign an executive order legalizing marijuana. I would also pardon people whose only crime was carrying pot.
By making marijuana legal, people would get the munchies. Doritos will fly off the shelf, causing Frito-Lay to increase production. All of a sudden, Frito-Lay will be a good investment.
The reason why I didn’t campaign in Guam is because it was too far out of the way and too close to the Indiana and North Carolina Primaries. I am sure the fine people in Guam would have liked my initiative to have them vote for the President of the United States. As I have stated previously, the President of the United States is considered the leader of the free world. And everybody in the free world should be entitled to choose its leader.
The problem is a little worse in Guam (and Puerto Rico, Palau, and other U.S. territories). The citizens of these commonwealths are United States Citizens, yet they can’t vote for the President and they can’t have representation in Congress.
Viajaré a Puerto Rico en dos semanas y haré campaña allí. Dejaré a la gente fina allí que haré campaña para que la su derecha vote por el presidente de Estados Unidos y por la representación en congreso. (I will travel to Puerto Rico in two weeks and campaign there. I will let the fine people there that I will campaign for their right to vote for the United States President and for representation in Congress.)
