British Airways takes beef off the menu to avoid offending Hindus| News | This is London

British Airways takes beef off the menu to avoid offending Hindus| News | This is London

I am currently at a cafe near Churchill Downs, where I will give my speech on animal rights.  I had read the “Drudge Report” as I usually do when I saw the article with the link above.

I have campaigned long and hard about an animal’s fundamental right to be part of my dinner and British Airways pulls off this stunt.  This article will give me additional ammunition when I give me speech.

I will no longer fly British Airlines until they realize that animals have the right to be a part of a person’s dinner.

They are Feeling the Heat!

My computer was hacked into today by someone who is hellbent on making sure I am not elected president. When I went to log into this blog this morning, I was redirected to a porn site. My computer was infested with viruses. Files containing my speeches and my itinerary were wiped out. I will probably be up all night writing the speeches I had already written for tomorrow in Eugene, OR and Saturday in Louisville, KY.

The campaigns of my opponents have to resort to tactics like this because they know they can’t handle a debate against me.  Senator McCain wouldn’t even get off the bus when he was in my town and he saw me.  They have no plan to handle the cinemafia, no plan that utilizes every available energy source, and no plan to enact Vanna White’s birthday as a national holiday.  They have to resort to computer hacking and smear campaigns.

If you happen to run into one of the candidates, tell them you want Ahmnodt Heare included in the debates and a serious discussion of the issues.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Today is May 5.  This is the day that Mexicans all over the world celebrate mayonnaise.  Though I do not understand how mayonnaise became synonymous with drinking  tequila and Corona beer, mayonnaise is a very popular condiment.  It could be used on everything from salads to hamburgers.

May everybody have an enjoyable Cinco de Mayo and remember that too much mayonnaise will make you too much additional pounds.  Please eat responsibly.

People are Strange

We complain that our elected officials have no connection with the middle class.  Maybe that’s because we don’t elect people from the middle class.  We vote for the people who spend the most money.

We want change, but we keep re-electing the same people over and over again.

We want freedom, but we keep telling legislators that “they’re ought to be a law.”

We want real news, but we can’t get enough of the “bimbo du jour.”

I may not know much, but I know the best person to represent the middle class is someone from the middle class.  You don’t change anything by keeping things the same.  How many more laws do we need?  There’s over 1,000,000 laws already.  Since the news stations are obsessed with sex stories, I get my news from The Onion or The Spoof.

On November, please write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for President.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt Heare

Independent Write-In Candidate for President

The Problem with Spontaneity

I was going to host a radio show at the last minute last night.  One of my supporters had suggested it would be a good idea to show America what I am like when I am not campaigning and pandering for votes.  The show was scheduled for 9PM Eastern time.  When it came time to host the show, I was unable to unlock the switchboard to air the program.  There were three people online waiting to shoot the breeze.  It was a disappointing night for the entire campaign team.

We will try again another night, probably next week.