NOTE: Special thanks to Debroah Elissmann for e-mailing President Obama and me for this idea.
Supporters have been bombarding President Obama with e-mails suggesting that I be the new Commerce Secretary. Some suggested my name without giving too many details about my plan to stimulate the economy. Debroah Ellismann (who wrote me on condition of anonymity) wrote a letter with some of the details of my plan.
Dear President Obama,
I don’t normally write letters to elected officials, but when I heard that Senator Gregg withdrew his name for consideration, I knew right away who the perfect replacement would be. His name is Ahmnodt Heare. Like you, he also ran for president in 2008. He didn’t fare as well. I think it was because he didn’t fully explain his economic policy until after the election.
Mr. Heare thinks outside of the box. Sometimes, he’s so far outside, he can’t even see the box. But once you hear his stimulus plan, I think you will agree that he would be the perfect candidate for the job.
A large portion of his plan involved bailing out companies that have already failed. He believes that reviving a company that has failed, the companies will have to hire people to maintain the business. By bringing back Dumont Television Network, there will have to be studios, actors for shows, news teams, and cleaning crews. This will create the most jobs because failed companies need people most in order to succeed.
I know you are a busy man and I wish you the best of luck regardless of whom you choose. Thank you for taking the time for reading this letter.
Sincerely,
Debroah Ellismann
I thank Debroah for her endorsement as well as all the other people who have written President Obama. I know my plan will work. Thank you all for your efforts.












My Two Cents on Stuff
Swine Flu – The news coverage was more sickening than the disease. In the end of the month, we’ll get extensive coverage on sunburn as part of “May Sweeps” television networks have this time of year.
Climate Change – I can save the government a lot of money with this statement: It gets hot in the summer, and changes to cold in the winter.
Arlen Specter – Changed parties but is still unwilling to make Vanna White Day a federal holiday.
Bailouts – Chrysler and GM received bailout funds. Chrysler has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. GM probably will soon. I make this pledge that if the government gives me $5 billion, I will never file for bankruptcy.
Barack Obama – He seems to be a good president, but his entire cabinet sucks. So does Ben Bernanke and the Detroit Lions