Election Day Aftermath

People have been discussing whether Republicans or Democrats benefited from Tuesday’s elections.  There is no argument that we independents lost a couple of golden opportunities.  Some will argue that Michael Bloomberg is an independent, but he ran on the Republican ticket.  It also cost him $100 million to win a close race.  If Billy Talen had $100 million, he’d be Mayor-Elect right now.

Doug Hoffman was the best chance for a third party member or independent to win a House election since Bernie Sanders represented Vermont in the House of Representatives.  He ran as a Conservative Party candidate after the New York Republican leaders gave the Republican candidacy to Dede Scozzafava, who was more liberal than Democratic candidate Bill Owens.  She siphoned conservative votes from Hoffman so that Owens would win.  It is more important for Democrats and Republicans to make sure that Democrats and Republicans get elected than it is for third party candidates with similar views to get elected.

Chris Daggett was polling at 20% when the first polls came out.  He became a victim of the “I like that guy, but he doesn’t have a chance” mentality that voters often get.

Some of you might be wondering what happened to the “Orgies for Abstinence” event.  The New York City event fell apart as participants were unable to book a room due to Mayor Bloomberg’s supporters.  The New Jersey was more successful.  While I did not fully participate in the orgy there, the women attending vowed to abstain from me for years to come.

Do Not Forget!

Today is Election Day.  It is important that you vote.  New Jersey and Virginia will vote for a governor.  New York City will vote for a mayor.  Upstate New York will vote for an interim congressperson.

You should vote today even if the most important office up for grabs in your community is “dog catcher.”  Local elections are important because these are the people who write the pesky little laws that makes living in your town a sucky experience.

After you perform your patriotic duty by voting, you can experience what it is like to be a politician treating his or her constituents by attending an “Orgies for Abstinence” event taking place throughout the country.  If you can’t find one, then feel free to host one among friends.  Remember that Orgies for Abstinence is like War for Peace – only more fun!

Now get out and vote!

Busy Times Ahead

The frequency of my blogging may be limited over the next month.  It is a busy month for the campaign as I have the “Orgies for Abstinence” event coming up on Election night (this coming Tuesday).  I will be attending the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates from the 13th through the 21st in the Bahamas.

It will be a busy month in my personal and professional lives.  The meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates and Thanksgiving has caused all of my presentations to be moved up to the week of November 9.  I will be working many 16-hour days the next two weeks (except this Tuesday).  I will also have Patricia next weekend.

This is a hectic time and I might not be able to post every day.  I am letting you know now so you don’t think I returned to the ashram or anything silly like that.  Things will return to normal on Thanksgiving week.

For those who look forward to my weekly football picks, I will still do them.  The picks for Weeks 10 and 11 will both be posted on November 12.  The picks for Thanksgiving week will be posted the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

“Orgies for Abstinence” Date Set

There has been an overwhelming response to the “Orgies for Abstinence” plan I mentioned yesterday.  I am pleased to announce that this event will be taking place on November 3.  This is Election Day in the United States.

I am hoping to have these orgies take place at hotel suites across America.  People are still welcome to host orgies if they desire.  The reason why I am trying to go for suites instead of regular hotel rooms is the room needed.

I am currently working on abstinence material to be handed out for the “Orgies for Abstience” event.  I will have a tab on the top of the blog for places hosting events as soon as I start getting confirmation of people hosting these events.

“Orgies for Abstinence” can be as popular as “War for Peace” with your continued support.

Proof the Maple Leafs Will Win the Stanley Cup

Hell has frozen over!

I did not think this would happen in my lifetime.  I have heard that it could happen.  The Boston Red Sox won a World Series in 2004 and I thought that would never happen.  An opponent’s supporter said that if the election was held the day that picture was taken, I would have won.  I think I can win in other days.

I know it starts getting cold in November, but it probably won’t get that cold in Hell.  There might be a few flurries, but it’s usually not that wintry in Hell.

If you’re a Maple Leafs fan, today is your day.  Your parade will be coming soon enough.  Congratulations!

Attention Early Voters

If you have already cast your vote for somebody besides Ahmnodt Heare, you can still vote for Ahmnodt Heare today.  However; there are a few steps you will have to do.

1)Bring a copy of the United States Constitution.  Remind them that the Constitution says that only votes that are cast on Election Day legally count.

2)If they will not allow you to vote, grab a provisional ballot and vote “Ahmnodt Heare” as a write-in for President.

If you are still experiencing problems, send me an e-mail and I will fix it as soon as possible.

My Horoscope for Election Day

Horoscope for Cancer for Tuesday November 4, 2008:

Uranus rules your day.  As things flow through Uranus, you will be able to pile your joy beyond expectations.

I am relieved that I will not have to worry about Uranus on Election Day.