My Daylight Saving Time Proposal

NOTE:  This was originally published on March 7, 2008.

At 2:00 Sunday Morning, most Americans will set their clocks and watches ahead one hour. Arizona and Hawaii won’t get to participate, so they won’t lose the hour of sleep that the rest of us will. My idea for Daylight Saving Time is different. My plan calls for setting the clocks ahead five hours. Critics claim that it will be dark while we wake up, it would be light out when we left work and for the rest of the night. There would be no need for lamps after work. The only time lighting would be needed would be getting ready for work. Once I’d switch, I wouldn’t switch back. Few people can sleep 13 hours, so we’d all be waking up in the middle of the night.

A Brief Synopsis

I want to give a brief synopsis of President Obama’s speech and Governor Jindal’s response.  I was originally going to give a longer reply, but I have suddenly gotten ill.  If you want any further insight into how I felt after either speech, please send an e-mail to ahmnodtheare@politician.com.  Please note that all submissions become the property of the Ahmnodt heare for President campaign and may be used against you in the court of law.  Object is larger than appears in the mirror.  That’s it for the legalese.

Neither Obama nor Jindal touched the high price of entertainment.  Neither approached the affordability of my health plan.  President Obama’s energy plan does not cover the breadth of my program.  And I have the most comprehensive plan to stop corporate welfare.

We have a long way to go before people in office listen to my ideas.  I hope it’s not too late before they get it.

Why My View on Global Warming Will Save Billions

Many politicians believe that global warming is a bad thing and that we must stop it.  Many others believe that global warming doesn’t exist.  My plan will save billions in energy costs.

We must discourage global warming in the summer.  It is too hot in the summer in many parts of the world.  Making the world warmer will just use up electricty to run air conditioners.

We must encourage global warming in the winter.  Warming the planet will reduce the need to burn gas and oil to heat up houses.

Turning problems into solutions is a trait a president needs to have in order to succeed.  Please vote for me on November 6, 2012.

For Your Listening Pleasure

I am featuring some radio shows I have done over the last couple of months.  These shows give a look on where I stand on the issues as well as give an insight into how I look at situations.

Economy

Energy

Philosophy

Drugs

Hope

I also had a show where I gave advice to my listeners. 

If you still have questions about my campaign, you are invited to call in to my next radio show this Saturday Night at 11:00PM EDT.

 

Can We Reduce Our Dependence on Foreign Oil?

President Bush has lead the way in cutting dependence by shooting the economy down the drain.  The fewer people with money, the less oil we need.  I went into my energy program here.

Should We Fund a Manhattan Project for Energy?

Last time I was in Manhattan, they had energy.  The Subways were running and the neon lights were bright on Broadway (on Broadway).  We need to fund energy for shacks in the Mountains.

What Will Be Your Priorities and in What Order?

Health Care – Entitlements – Energy

Health Care – I would concentrate on Health Care first.  I would mandate my “Apple-a-Day” plan.  This will save almost a zillion dollars.

Energy – All alternative methods of energy should be looked at and enacted.  I offered gerbils running turbines in houses to energize houses.  The trucks running on methane gas plan is another plan I was the first to offer.

Entitlements – I would increase the value of Marlboro Miles.  I would replace Corporate Welfare with a Corporare Work Program.