I Miss the Snow

I miss the snow.  I don’t mean the snow outside, I am shoveling plenty of that.)  I mean the snow that WordPress provided during the holidays.  I miss looking at snow falling from blogs while reading.  I felt as peace as I read blogs about the war in Iraq.  I felt serene reading about hockey fights. I felt placid reading endless bickering among opponents on issues.

I wish there was a way it could snow on my blog year round.  I am getting antsy reading about cease-fires and the hope of peace.

Read Before Accusing Me

Iraqi journalist hurls shoes at ‘dog’ Bush.

People have been assuming that just because the shoes thrown at President Bush were a size 10, that I was the person who threw the shoes.  This is not the truth.  I don’t have shoes.  I was not in Baghdad, where the press conference took place.  And if I did have shoes, they would be more stylish than the pair thrown at President Bush.

I think the person who threw the shoes was misunderstood.  He might have gotten President Bush confused with me.  I was the candidate who wanted to walk in other people’s shoes.

October Suprise

A couple of unreliable sources have confirmed that Independent Candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare was born in Canada.  The rumor is that Heare’s American-born parents were driving from Detroit to Buffalo through Canada and that Ahmnodt was born while his parents were in line trying to get back in the United States.  He was soon brought to Women’s and Children Hospital in Buffalo.

Though none of the other presidential candidates were able to comment, Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin said this:

“It’s a shame.  I actually liked his “War with Canada 9-5” thingie.  It was more mavericky than anything John McCain has ever done.  I would have preferred sending my son to Canada than Iraq.  He could be home for dinner every night.  I would be able to see Canada from my window if Russia wasn’t in the way.”

Presidential Candidate Ahmnodt Heare said he had no recollection of being born in Canada and that it was dirty politics being played by the Jeffery Boss campaign.

This year’s deficit will be at $430 billion. What are you going to cut back?

I would cut back troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.  20% of the troops will be used in the 9-5 War against Canada.  The money saved will be used for innovative ways to save money for the government.  I am willing to create the position of Coupon Czar.  The Coupon Czar will administer coupons and give then to agencies that spend money.

How do you reorganize Afghanistan Strategy?

I would pull the trips out of Afghanistan and Iraq and attack Canada from 9 AM to 5PM Monday through Friday.  It’s a win-win situation.  War mongers get a war closer to home.  Soldiers get a war and get to go home to their families every night.

How I Would Approach Iraq and Afghanistan

I would fly into both countries.  Walking to either country would be difficult and I would have a hard time taking a speedboat there from the Eastern United States.

Lessons of Iraq

I learned that if I tell my fellow Americans that the country I invade will pay for the war, I would make that country pay for the war.  No more freeloading invadings in an Ahmnodt Heare administration.