Tag Archives: Obama

I reached my 40,000th supporter the other day.  I would have mentioned this sooner, but I have been busy.  Below are some of the possible reasons in the spike of supporters in recent days:

  • Saguache County Support Base Swells upon my Arrival – I doubt this is the case because the percentage of people who were happy I am in Saguache County is no higher than the percentage of people who voted for me.
  • Obama Supporters are Weary of Obama – While I have seen people who voted for President Obama become critical of his health care plan, I have seen none of his supporters advocating mine.
  • McCain supporters See no Future for Republican Party –  Republicans seem to be like a punch-drunk spouse.  No matter how many times Republicans say they will cut spending and never do, the flock of grassroots Republicans believe they will cut spending the next time.
  • People are Bored – If that was the case, I’d have 40,000,000 supporters by now.
  • Subliminal Messages – I don’t know how to do that.  Besides, I believe in a more overt approach.  ”VOTE FOR AHMNODT HEARE!”

While I figure out the reasons for the unexpected spike in supportership, I would like to thank everybody for supporting me.  Election Day is only 38 months away.

We will vote for the President of the United States in 41 months and 3 days.  You are probably as disheartened as I am that although the talking heads are talking about potential candidates for President, the name “Ahmnodt Heare” is not being mentioned in the mix.

Here is my plan for the 2012 election:  Tell two people* about my campaign every month.  Make sure you tell the people you talk to that they tell two people every month.  Once people they tell tell two people, etc. over the next 41 months, then 268,435,456 people will know about my campaign.  Fewer than half that many people voted for all candidates for president in 2008.

Telling two people a month shouldn’t be too difficult.  And if only half of the people you tell vote for me, I will still have 134,217,728 votes.  This will be the most ever for any candidate for any office in American history.

* – Two people who have never been told before.

“Obama Girl” became popular last year for appearing in videos supporting President Obama’s campaign.  You can enjoy the same success she did by making an “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  Although I generally enjoy nude videos, I ask that models wear clothing as children and old people will be watching the videos.

I regret that i cannot offer compensation for your work.  Just think of it as doing your part for America.

Segment Description Keywords Date
Duration
On the Road to the 2012 Elections Independent candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare is already campaigning for 2012. He will share what he has been up to since the 2008 elections.  He will also be discussing one year anniversary of blogging.


election, 2012, satire, politics, Obama 2/15/2009
9:00 PM Eastern
60 Minutes

If you wish to call the show live, you can either call (347)-945-7487 or you can click the “Click to Talk” button in the chat room that will be available while the show is live.  

Although I have been involved in marketing for a few years, I still make mistakes. I am fortunate that I have limited my marketing failures to myself and I have caused no damage to my clients. Below are a few of my marketing blunders:

  • The Ahmnodt Heare Commemorative Two-Headed Coin:  This was suggested by a female supporter who thought I was handsome.  I took her idea and ran with it.  Even she declined to buy a coin.
  • The Ahmnodt Heare Salt Shaker:  Salt residue on top of the cap made it look like I had dandruff.  This was a turn-off and people lost their appetites.
  • The Ahmnodt Heare Commemorative Inauguration DVD: (Narrated by Paul Reubens)  This was an epic fail on all counts.  Once it was determined that Barack Obama beat me in the election, Mr. Reubens decided not to narrate it.  I ended up with an unmanned camera facing President Obama.  The camera was knocked around and ended up facing a port-a-john.
  • The Ahmnodt Heare Coloring Book:   I will never have coloring books printed in China again.  Not only was my last name spelled wrong (Haere), but some of the pictures had a bulge in the pants and the coloring book became inappropriate for children.

There were other things that went wrong, but they were mostly minor.  The Ahmnodt Heare wig was set to be a big seller until the Rod Blagojevich wig came out.  That was more unforeseen timing than bad strategy.

I have learned a few things from my mistakes.  The first is to find a coloring book artist who isn’t horny.  I also learned not to set up marketing merchandise for an inauguration until I win the election.

I ask this poll not because I am a narcissist.  I do not ask because i want to prove I am lovable or to smoothe a shattered ego. The poll is a political study to check how Ahmnodt Heare fares against President Obama and Congress.

I have decided to add encryption features on my computer, my cell phone, and my Speak and Spell.  I can not afford another episode like the hacking episode last May.  My campaign continues to grow and my opponents are now beginning to notice.  While I don’t have the NSA to encrypt my communications like one of my opponents, I will have top-notch encryption.

The encryption will work like this:

If I type something like:

My campaign schedule will bring me to Kansas, Michigan, and Oregon.

The encryption will look like this:

jghgfhgghfghjgahmnodtheareisastudnmmnbcvxfgfhj

I will continue to step up and meet the challenges of my opponents and of America.  I thank you for your continued support.