Yin and Yang

What comes up must come down and what comes down must come up.  The great start I am having to today is offsetting the horrible day I had yesterday.  I was without internet, satellite TV, and electricity for most of the day.  I was told that the weather was to blame, but the  weather was not that bad.  It was a bit chilly and breezy, but it wasn’t overly windy nor was there an arctic blast.  By the time I had everything back, football was over and I had my worst week picking games.  At least the Redskins didn’t lose.

Today, I wake up to find out that there was a nice write-up about my campaign by Cinie’s World. Cinie is a “PUMA” who did not vote for Barack Obama and it’s not happy with the way President Obama is doing things.  Cinie has included a link to the Vanna White Supremacists group on Facebook and membership has grown.

The sun is out today.  It will cheer me up as I have a lot of work to do.  Have a good day, America*!

 

* and Cameroon.

Not Much Going On

Today is a slow day.  There are no updates on “Orgies for Abstinence“.  The CineMafia hasn’t done anything newsworthy lately.  Vanna White is still as lovely and talented as ever.  There is no confirmation or denial of my status of becoming the Hobo Party candidate for President.

It is for these reasons that I have decided not to write a blog entry for today.  I am sorry that there is nothing for you to read today and nothing for you to comment.  I am confident things will change tomorrow.

NOTE:  A special apology is in order for David, who I know was looking forward to read something I was going to blog about today.

Join Me on Facebook

Social Networking is a huge part of modern American culture.  I have had a Facebook page for a while.  There is also a fan page and a Vanna White Supremacists Group page that set up by a supporter.

Executive Orders

One of the perks of being a President is the ability to carry out executive orders.  There is some controversy over the effect Executive Orders have over the balance of power.  Critics say that they give too much power to the Executive Branch.  I am sensitive to how others feel.  I plan on limiting the number of Executive Orders I will use.  The only Executive Orders I plan on using are:

• Declare the Chicago Cubs the 1994 World Champions.  The World Series was not played in 1994 due to a players’ strike.   This will alleviate much of the pressures of playing for the Cubs.
• Declare the Washington Capitals 2004-05 Stanley Cup Champions.  The 2004-05 hockey season was canceled due to a lockout imposed by the owners.  I would also like to see the parade go down Pennsylvania Avenue.
• Replace “Presidents’ Day” with “Vanna White Day.”  Americans should not be deprived of the proper celebration of Vanna White’s Birthday (February 18) because we celebrate the birthdates of presidents (38 of whom have since passed away.)

There are other Executive Orders I would want to impose, but I do not want to ruin the delicate balance of power between the Legislative and Executive branches.  Therefore, I will have to ask Congress to replace “Casual Fridays” to “Wet T-Shirt” Fridays.

Vacation Ends Today

I head home today after a week of must needed time away from the job and my campaign.  I will leave here at 7:30 for a ride to Colorado Springs.  At 11:00, I will be taking a bus to Denver.  The plane leaves at 2:00PM and I shoujld be back at my home by 8PM.

I spent most of yesterday alone relaxing.  I did watch some of the Rockies game against the New York Mets at a bar.  I came back to the bar in time to watch “Wheel of Fortune.”  It was then that I found out why my campaign was so popular here.  Saguache is a hotbed for Vanna White supremacists.   There was an altercation as a few people came in wanting to watch the Denver Broncos’ game against the Arizona Cardinals.  But the Broncos fans were outnumbered by the Vanna White supremacists.

We were about to watch the Broncos game after “Wheel of Fortune” when there was a sudden showering of boos.  I saw the television and it was Wiliam Shatner doing a Priceline commercial.  An elderly woman shouted, “Way to ruin our entertainment, you Canuck spy!”

The irony is although I am heading home today, I will never feel as home as I have this past week.

A Look at my Platform – National Holidays

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on national holidays.

I would observe Vanna White’s birthday as a national holiday, and not just because I am a Vanna White supremacist.

Some holidays do not make any sense.  We celebrate Columbus Day despite of the fact that he got lost trying to go to India and never landed on American soil.  Labor Day is a celebration of working, only we celebrate working by taking the day off.  Christmas is celebrated by going to parties with alcohol and other things Jesus would never do.  I think holidays should be relevant and make sense.  I propose the following holidays:

• Vanna White Day – February 18 – Vanna White has been a cultural icon for over twenty years.  She has maintained grace and dignity while the world of entertainment has gone to Hell in a handbasket.  This holiday would replace President’s Day
• Opening Day of the National Football League – First Sunday in September – I would get rid of the Kickoff on the Thursday before everybody else plays.  This holiday would replace Labor Day.
• John Lennon Day – October 9 – Some people will criticize me for choosing John Lennon because he is not American.   Neither was Christopher Columbus nor Jesus, but we celebrate their birthdays.  I would rather celebrate the birthday of one of the best songwriters ever than a guy who got lost.  If people really wanted to celebrate the birthday of someone who got lost, my birthday is on July 11.

My Two Cents on Stuff

Swine Flu – The news coverage was more sickening than the disease.  In the end of the month, we’ll get extensive coverage on sunburn as part of “May Sweeps” television networks have this time of year.

Climate Change – I can save the government a lot of money with this statement:  It gets hot in the summer, and changes to cold in the winter.

Arlen Specter – Changed parties but is still unwilling to make Vanna White Day a federal holiday.

Bailouts – Chrysler and GM received bailout funds.  Chrysler has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  GM probably will soon.  I make this pledge that if the government gives me $5 billion, I will never file for bankruptcy.

Barack Obama – He seems to be a good president, but his entire cabinet sucks.  So does Ben Bernanke and the Detroit Lions