The Vice-Presidential Candidate

NOTE: This is the second of a series of entries from the “Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates” that took place in the Caribbean from November 14-20.  To see the entire series (once completed), click on the “Meeting of Independent Presidential Presidents” tag and the entire list should pop up.

There are twelve candidates for President who are partaking in the Meeting of Independent Presidential Candidates.  All of the candidates have interesting platforms.  If time permits, I will discuss all of them.

Tonight I want to mention the person hoping to be the vice-presidential candidate.  her name is Sondra Demarest.  She says she is willing to be President if the situation calls for it (assassination, impeachment, resigns to chase around hotties, etc.), but would rather work behind the scenes and have the President and his (or her) visibility take the hit for any of her policies that might not work.

Sondra isn’t a hottie, but she isn’t butt-ugly either.  It probably wouldn’t take more than one or two drinks before I would consider seducing her.

Back Where I Belong

I am glad to be home after a long trip through western and central Europe.  The bad luck has continued on this side of the pond.  Once again, I find myself looking for a vice-presidential candidate.  I will be holding a raffle for people interested in being my running mate.  He or she must fit the Constitutional Requirements:

• At least 35 years of age
• A United States Citizen born in the United States
• No priors

Closet Celine Dion and Anne Murray fans need not apply.  Star Trek fans may apply providing that they have a favorite character other than Captain Kirk.  Those interested in the position can leave a note in the responses below.

The jet lag is beginning to get to me.  I woke up at 6AM in Stockholm (which is Midnight Eastern Time.)  I will probably go to bed early tonight.

My Vice-Presidential Running Mate

***NOTICE*** I am announcing that I now have a running mate for 2012.  I know some people will be disappointed that I will not occupy both parts of the ticket like I did in 2008.  I figured it would be too taunting a task to fix the country and to go to the funeral of every third-world dictator.  I was going to choose Sir Satire, but he is still happy at his commune making organic Twinkees.

I have found a man who is Sir Satire’s equal.  He is Peasant Tim.  You may know him as the guy from Michigan with a job.  But he is much more than that.  He has a job and pays his rent.  As your vice-president, he will be in charge of setting up an anti-cinemafia task force and will implement my “Just say ‘OK, but just this once’.” drug policy.

Peasant Tim will be joining this blog with an occasional post from his campaigning.  He will start blogging as soon as he finishes the final touches on the Lake Michigan oil spill investigation.

Question for Readers of This Blog

Thank you for taking part in this poll.

WANTED: Running Mate

I am hoping that having a running mate will help me in the 2012 election.  I will need you to write a 500-word essay on how Global Warming will Kill the World.  Instead of placing your name on the paper, place my name on the paper and place your name in a seperate e-mail.  (You can place your name in the letter if you want, but the paper must NOT have your name anywhere in it.)

The contest will run until further notice.  Good luck to all contestants!

Please send inquiries to ahmnodtheareatpoliticiandotcom.

Ahmnodt Running in 2012

I have decided to run for President of the United States in 2012.  I have learned from my mistakes in the 2008 campaign and I have already started to fix the problems.  I hereby challenge President-elect Obama and whomever the Republicans can muster to a debate.  I would also like to invite Ralph Nader, Alan Keyes, and Buckles the Clown to the debate.  I am not inviting Buckles because he is a great debater, but because I have never lost a debate to him.

Another difference between 2008 and 2012 is that I will hold a contest for the vice-president position.  Due to Constitutional requirements, Canadians are not eligible at this time.

I would like to thank the seven people who voted for me.  This campaign will do much better in 2012!

Where I Went Wrong

I was expecting somewhere around 40 million votes in yesterday’s election.  I ended up getting seven.  Many people would quit, but I can get the votes I need once I fix the problems that stopped me from winning.

1) The “Vice President” fiasco:  I should have spent more time vetting my selections.  The first candidate did not tell me he was a Canadian until months after I chose him.  The candidate I ended up running with did nothing to help the ticket.

2) I started too late:  My campaign differed from Obama’s and McCain’s because I chose not to raise money.  I stand by this issue for now.  I will formally announce my intention to run for President in 2012 soon.  The Cinemafia spent millions on Barack Obama and John McCain, trying to make them bicker as a distraction so people wouldn’t hear my message.

3) Internal Polling data was wrong.  I was under the impression that PollDaddy was the service to use.  They even offered a money-back guarantee if I was not satisfied.  Good thing I didn’t spend any money, because I would be expecting my money back right about now.

I would like to congratulate Barack Obama for winning the election.  I will fulfill my duty as an American citicen and help President-elect Obama in implementing my platform.