Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I’m Not Ready

Former Secretary of State and Senator Hillary Clinton announced today that she is running for President.  Senators Rand Paul and Ted Cruz have already announced that they are going to run along with Ben Carson.

As bad as things are right now, I do not know if any of these people can improve things, let alone getting America on track to a prosperous future.  Same goes for Jeb Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Marco Rubio, and Dave Mustaine.

It is not because these people are not capable to bring good times to America.  It is because it is not in their best interest to improve America.  They are more interested in their legacy and making sure THEY have a prosperous future than making sure that you and I do.  This is modern-day American politics at its worst.

This is my third campaign for President.  I have learned a few things in my previous campaigns.  The first thing I learned is that the only way to take money out of politics is to not put money into politics in the first place.  This belief is the reason why I do not ask for political campaign contributions.  We cannot expect a candidate to be fiscally conservative in office if he or she is not fiscally conservative on the campaign trail.  What they do on the trail is a reflection of what they will do in office.

I’m not ready for Hillary… or Ted… or Rand… or Dave (Though it would be cool if Megadeth played at my Inaugural Ball.)

April 12, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Iowa GOP, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Secrets I Will Take to My Grave

It is important for a presidential candidate to be able to keep secrets.  The President of the Unites States is given confidential information every day.  If this information is leaked, it could give the enemy an upper hand.  Sometimes the enemy is a terrorist group or a leader of a rogue nation,  Other times, it’s a political opponent that is the enemy who can destroy you with leaked secrets.  Below are some secrets I will be taking to my grave:

  • Grandma Oudda’s one-night tryst with one of Congressman Steny Hoyer’s political opponents.  Since Steny Hoyer beat the opponent anyway, there’s no reason to mention his or her name.
  • The secret to the marinade that Olvey’s Steak House in Dover, Delaware uses.  You will never hear it from me that the secret is two drops of vanilla extract.
  • I will never rat out the police officer who gave me my first speeding ticket that I saw him buying drugs from my neighbor a few months later.  The police chief would not like that.
  • I would never tell on my mayor.  Sure he took $5000 from the town treasury fund to help pay for his personal car, but it was on sale for a limited time more.  If he waited longer, then he would have to take more money to pay for the car.

Secrets told to me stay with me.  I will be a President that you can trust.

April 1, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , | Leave a comment

Here We Go Again!

I tried to live a normal life, but I was not meant to have a normal life.  Some people can’t work a  9:00AM until 5:00PM job.  A few people can’t eat ordinary processed foods due to various allergies and ailments.  There are even people who insist on setting up a roll of toilet paper with the paper to pull down in front of the roll.

Every time I try to resume a normal life away from politics, something happens and people feel compelled to drag me back in the fire.  There were two things that happened in the last week that got people upset enough that they had to talk to me into running for President.

The first thing was President Obama proposing that voting be mandatory.  Many people are petrified that the only options on a Presidential ballot are Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush.  I know that the Libertarian, Green, Birthday, and other Parties will have candidates, but most people are conditioned to believe that there are only two candidates.

I mentioned the second point in my most recent blog entry.  My biggest fear with a Ted Cruz “presidency” is that Stephen Harper will be the de facto President of the United States.  If you have seen how badly he is running Canada, there is no way you’d want him to be running our country.

It will take me a while before my campaign is fully operational.  My first order of business is to find a volunteer campaign manager who is not currently in prison or living on a commune because he or she found Harry Kirshner.Hare Krishna.  The campaign should be fully operational by the second weekend of April.

March 26, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Canada’s Latest Weapon

Contrary to what Canadians will tell you, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a very clever man.  Not only has he been able to have his spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry, he has also been able to infiltrate the Untied States Senate representing a state that hates immigrants.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta.  Calgary may seem American, but it’s actually in Canada.  Just because the Calgary Flames play hockey against American-based team doesn’t make Calgary an American city any more than the Washington Capitals playing games against Canadian-based teams makes Washington, D.C. a Canadian city.

If that isn’t enough to scare you, Cruz’s father fought for Fidel Castro in the Cuban Revolution. Castro won the revolution, which lead to strained relations between the United States and Cuba as well as an embargo against Cuba.

I do not know why Republicans, who complained about President Obama possibly being born in Kenya knowingly support a candidate knowingly born outside the United States.  I wonder how Republicans (and Democrats) can be so cozy with a country like Canada.  If Republicans really loved the United States like the good patriots they claim to be, there is no way that they would consider voting for Ted Cruz in a primary.

March 24, 2015 Posted by | Canada, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Poll Question

President Obama is toying around with the concept of making voting mandatory.  A lot of people who currently refuse to vote do so because they do not like any of the choices and they haven’t heard of me and my ideas.

There was a poll taken last week and it needs to be returned.

March 21, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Obama, politics, Poll, satire, voting | , , | Leave a comment

End of the Road

It is with great sadness that I am announcing that I will not be running for President.  This may be a shock to some, especially for those who were at my campaign stop in Maryland yesterday.  The reason is not because I don’t have a chance of winning.  I do have a chance because people do not want Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush as President.  They will get most of the votes (People will vote for Hillary because they don’t want Jeb and people will vote for Jeb because they won’t want Hillary.).  People will not vote for Hillary or Jeb because of who they are.

The reason why I am not running for President is simple: America is FUBAR.  There is too much wrong for me (or Hillary, Jeb, Vermin Supreme) or anyone else to fix.  The national debt will be $19 trillion by the time President Obama leaves office.  America keeps funding military groups in the Middle East who end up turning on America, making us looking to fund another military group to fight the one we built up.  The United States still allows Canadians to infiltrate the US under the guise of “entertainers.”   The economy is “improving”, but we keep lowering the bar as to what a successful economy is.  The 1950s had more homeowners with most households having only one person working.  The parents paid for their children’s college and weddings.  Now, both parents have to work (with at least one of them working two jobs,) The children have to pay for their own college and their own weddings.

The mainstream media is unreliable,  Brian Williams is OK (when he isn’t getting shot down in a fighter chopper or misremembering what is happening.)  I wouldn’t buy a $20 bill for $10 from Scott Pelley.  And who is David Muir?  Who is he?  Chris Matthews needs to retire before he gets a heart attack from people walking on his lawn.

Dave the homeless guy used to say that having a six-foot ladder won’t help if you’re in a twenty-foot hole.  The hole keeps getting bigger and the ladders keep getting shorter.  If prosperity is to come, it will come from a government that allows prosperity.  A government that doesn’t collect taxes for people owning land.  (The current method implies that the government owns all land and we’re just tenants through perpetual taxation.)  A government can’t claim to care for the poor if even the poor have to give 10% of their income in income tax and have to pay a sales tax on the non-food items they need most (like toilet paper and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.)

Do you think anybody running for office is really going to fix the country?  Do you think their policies are designed to make things easier for you?  If you think this, then Scott Pelley has a six-foot ladder that will get you out of a twenty-foot hole that he would like to sell you..

The blog will remain up until March 9.  Sometime during the day on March 9, I will pull the blog.  For the many people who have read the blog over the years, it’s been fun and thank you for being part of the fun.  I have learned a lot (and forgotten even more) and I have enjoyed the interaction.

February 9, 2015 Posted by | Ahmnodt | 2 Comments

Learning From Ferguson

It is unfortunate that Americans have not learned from Rodney King and Trayvon Martin.  Once again, cars were set on fire and businesses were looted.  There has to be a stop to this.  In order to stop history from repeating itself, one has to get to the root of the cause and spread Roundup weed killer on it until the root is dead.  Here is how I would handle things to make sure this doesn’t happen again:

Reading the Verdict – Have the verdict read in the morning before 10:00AM.  Nobody likes rioting when one is tired and the coffee hasn’t kicked in.

Keep it Peaceful – Most of the greatest achievements towards equality were the result of peaceful actions like Martin Luther King.  People have no sympathy for those who choose to act like they are in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Focus Your Anger – Instead of burning everybody’s cars and looting businesses, take out your hostility on those who caused you to feel hostile.  Don’t burn down your neighborhood.  It keeps the police around too long.  Instead, hold a sit-in at a courthouse or police station.  And although the Department of Motor Vehicles usually has nothing to do with these situations, have a sit-in there too.  You will get supporters because everybody hates the DMV. (Even the people who work there.)

If you are a district attorney, please don’t give a case to a grand jury with the intent with hoping that they will not indict the defendant when the defendant has allegedly caused death or injury to a person.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and may your Black Friday shopping be less of a riot than what Ferguson went through.

 

 

November 25, 2014 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

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