A Lesson from Fluffy

I was driving home from where Fluffy was laid to rest. I drove by the cemetery on the outskirts of town. I pulled over and took a stroll around. I saw a bunch of tombstones from the 1800s including one for somebody named John Clinton.

I started talking to the tombstones. For some of them it must have been a while since anyone has talked to them. I told them about Fluffy’s passing and what Fluffy meant to me. I saw the “Clinton” tombstone again and couldn’t help think about the Democrats. I remember hearing stories on how Democrats used to get votes from dead people in Chicago.

I figured that if the Democrats could get votes from dead people, then I could. I started campaigning. I gave a speech on how the deceased would prosper under my administration and that I would veto any bill which taxed dead people.

They were not impressed. They didn’t cheer the way the people at the “Do unto others as you would do unto yourself” speech I gave at the Masochists of America convention last month. They were not rude like the people at the animal rights outing were when I brought hamburgers, either.I guess I will have to wait until Election Day to see if my message has resonated.

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