Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Ahmnodt Heare to Declare Eligible for NFL Draft

Independent candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare has decided to waive his remaining eligibility and enter the NFL draft, which will be held in April.

Ahmnodt Heare is a twelfth-year sophomore at St. Thomas Francis University.  Although he never did play for STFU, he does hold the records for most sacks (7) and most safeties (3)  in a single game in his high school gym class.

Ahmnodt Heare’s gym teacher, Joe Scampelli, said Ahmnodt might not have been the brightest player out there, but nobody played with more heart.”

AHMNODT HEARE’S VITALS:

Height: 5’8″

Weight: 225

40-yard speed: 6.29 sec.

Vertical leap: 4.29″

Bench Press: 50 lbs – 10 reps.

Desired positions: ROLB, LOLB, LE, RE, K, P, FB

Ahmnodt Heare is looking forward to an invitation to the upcoming scouting combine.

January 15, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, satire, Uncategorized | , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt Heare to Declare Eligible for NFL Draft

Walk-a-Thon Canceled

I was going to walk across the country starting this weekend to raise awareness for affordable entertainment.  I have run into a couple of problems along the way:

  • The weather:  While I know it is cold in the winter, this is my first winter north of the Mason-Dixon Line in a few years.  I had forgotten how COLD it gets up here.  I could only imagine how much colder it would be if we weren’t warming the planet by using air-conditioners.
  • The planning:  Google says the trip should take 37 days and 14 hours.  That is assuming I am going to walk non-stop between the moment I start and the moment I arrive in San Diego.  I haven’t walked in my sleep in years.
  • The path chosen has the fewest supporters.  I have created a revised map to include visiting supporters.
  • With all the revisions and walking only 8 hours a day, it would take me 183 days to complete the walk.

The additional days would be a drain on my budget.  With the 7-day plan, I had enough money to stay at a hotel every night.  Under the current plan, I would have to crash at my supporters’ trailers.  I cannot impose myself like that.

I will find a way to make this work.  America must find out about the ills of the CineMafia.  This is my life mission.

January 15, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Walk-a-Thon Canceled

   

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