Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

How I Would Relieve Overcrowding Prisons

California recently was ordered to release over 10,000 prisoners because their prisons are overcrowded.  Some say we should build more prisons while others say we should have fewer laws.  I have a few additional suggestions:

  1. Waist limit of 34 inches:  By getting prisoners to lose weight and get slender, there will be more room to move around.  Overweight prisoners will go to a boot camp to shed inches before being allowed to a regular prison.
  2. Get rid of TVs and Weights:  They simply take up too much room and do little to rehabilitate prisoners.
  3. Bunk beds:  Prison cells will be equipped with three-high bunk beds.  This will create more room.
  4. Replace toilets with urinals:   This will save space.  Prisoners’ diets will be liquid, so solid excretion will no longer be a problem.
  5. Make prison life so miserable that they will never want to come back.  This will stop the influx of repeat offenders.

With just a little ingenuity, prisons can be made less crowded without hitting taxpayers with the cost of extra prisons and overhauling the entire penal code.


February 10, 2009 - Posted by | commentary, debt, editorial, issues, legislation, satire | , , , ,


  1. I wonder what these poeple will do anyways. With the bad economy the probably won’t find jobs, and why should they be allowed to take jobs from others. That in turn leaves only crime. Save our justice system the money and keep them in instead of going through expensive investigations, hunts and trials.

    Comment by myphotoscout | February 10, 2009

  2. It costs thousands of dollars to keep them in prisons because of paychecks of officials.

    Beds are already three high is some prisons.

    Some prisoners can improver their lives and earn a respectible income. I’ve seen it done in Los Angeles.

    Comment by Catherine | February 10, 2009

  3. I didn’t know some were already three high. I have never been to prison and only know from occasionally watching prison documentaries on TV.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 11, 2009

  4. I was going to question the presence of TVs in prison, but from your comment above I feel the need to commend your thorough research before writing this.

    You’re funny.

    Comment by ummmmheyyyy | February 12, 2009

  5. […] on Drugs” issue wasn’t talked about more.  Instead of putting drug users into overcrowded prisons, I would make them work for the farms who have lost labor because the help moved back to Mexico. […]

    Pingback by Drug Policy « Ahmnodt Heare for President | February 20, 2009

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