Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Heading Home Early

I was supposed to go to Newburgh, NY tomorrow afternoon, but a snowstorm is headed this way.  I will leave for home first thing in the morning.  I’ll bet you there is a global warming conference somewhere in the Northeast.  There is always a global warming conference during a snowstorm.

February 28, 2009 Posted by | campaign, commentary, environment, satire | , , , | 2 Comments

Excerpts from my Speech to the Polar Bear Club

The following is an excerpt of the speech I will be giving to the Polar Bear Club in Kingston, NY this afternoon.  It is on global warming.

I would like to thank the Polar Bear Club for inviting me to Kingston to speak today.  Thank you for the warm reception.  The warm reception is almost warm enough to cause global warming.

I know that people in the Polar Bear Club like to go swimming in the winter.  I would like to go swimming in the winter also, but it is too cold.  This is why I am suggesting that we encourage global warming in the winter.

There are some people who want it year round.  But it is already warm in the summer.  The summer would be a good time to fight global warming.  Right now, we much encourage it.

It is too cold today for me to swim in my Speedos.  It is too cold to walk in the park just wearing shorts and a t-shirt.  The saddest part about the lack of global warming in the winter is that it is too cold for the hotties to wear thongs on the beach.  Imagine the irony of that.

If I am elected president, I will assure that fighting global warming will only occur during the hottest months.

Former Vice-President Al Gore knows what causes global warming.

Former Vice-President Al Gore knows what causes global warming.

February 28, 2009 Posted by | campaign, commentary, environment, issues, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Excerpts from my Speech to the Polar Bear Club

   

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