Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Redeeming Coupons

I went to the store to buy cigarettes this morning.  I get to the counter and was told a pack costs $5.65 with tax.  I didn’t have any money so I gave her 11,300 coupons.  She said she couldn’t accept them.  I tried to point out that each coupon had “CASH VALUE 1/20 OF A CENT”, but she still refused.

The manager came to the counter.  I told the manager the situation.  the clerk said something else, making the manager think I was trying to buy cigarettes with food stamps.

“What does this say?”  I asked the manager.

“It says, ‘Cash value 1/20 of a cent’.”

I told the manager that I had the coupons paper-clipped in piles of 20.  I had 25 bundles in a 5X5 pattern.  This made for 500 coupons in each bundle with a value of 25 cents in each bundle.  I gave her 4 bundles at a time 5 times (this made for $5.00.)  She then received 2 bundles and 15 piles of coupons for a net value of $5.65.

Most of the coupons were “50 Cents Off  Tampax Brands.”  I don’t have any use for Tampax, but since they had a cash value, I saved them.  The woman behind the counter could probably use the 50 cents.  I don’t want to say she needed hygiene, but she could have saved herself over $5,000.

I was thanked by the manager for wrapping and counting the coupons.  (I learned my lesson from the 7-11 I was kicked out of for handing in coupons by placing them loosely on the counter.)  He then explained that nobody really redeems the cash value anymore.  The coupons were left on the counter and I left.  Coupons for maxi-pads and tampons aren’t going to do me any good.

March 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, economy | , , , | 1 Comment

Limburger Cheesecake

This is another one of Grandma Oudda’s award winning recipes.  Although it is not as popular as her Strawberry Stroganoff recipe, it does have a strong cult following.  It is sometimes used in ceremonies involving people joining a prestigious group like the Bloods, the Cripps, or the Detroit Lions.  Please enjoy!

1 Env Gelatin
1/2 c Mini-Chocolate Chips
1/4 c Milk cold
1 Graham Cracker Pie Crust, 9 Inch
1 c Milk boiling
2  8-Oz Pkgs Limburger  Cheese
1 c Cookie Crumbs
1/2 c Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla Extract

In blender, sprinkle gelatin over cold milk; let stand 2 min. Add hot milk and process at low until dissolved, about 2 min. Add limburger cheese,  sugar and vanilla and process until blended. Arrange chocolate in bottom  of crust. Pour in gelatin mixture; sprinkle with crushed cookies.
Chill until firm, about 2 hrs.

Serves 8-12 (Unless it’s made for me, then it serves only one)

March 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, satire | , , , , | 4 Comments


%d bloggers like this: