Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

What an Ahmnodt Heare Presidency Might Look Like

I have found a game that lets you run a country the way you want to.  My country is here.  Check it out daily as I will get to sign new legislation into law every day.

The Republic of Ahmnodt Heare is a fledgling, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 5 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defence, with areas such as Religion & Spirituality and Law & Order receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 12%. A large private sector is led by the Book Publishing industry, followed by Beef-Based Agriculture and Woodchip Exports.

Crime is a problem, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Ahmnodt Heare’s national animal is the arctic sea monkey, which frolics freely in the nation’s many lush forests, and its currency is the Oudda-Heare mynd.

The defense spending will be cut.  Spirituality will increase (mainly the Church of Vanna White)  The CineMafia will cease to exist in my country and only people who are entertaining can be called entertainers.


March 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, foreign policy, issues, Platform | , , , | Comments Off on What an Ahmnodt Heare Presidency Might Look Like

Campaigning in Europe

I will be campaigning in Europe next week.  Below is the schedule:

Monday 3/16 – London:  I will once again go to the U.S. Embassy and hold a rally for Britons to be allowed to vote for the leader of the free world.

Tuesday 3/17 – Dublin: No real campaigning, just partying with the Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.  This is also my daughter Patricia’s birthday.  I am saddened that I am unable to play quarters with her for her birthday. She will turn 6.

Wednesday 3/18 – Liechtenstein:  Cross-country walk-a-thon promoting affordable entertainment to Liechtensteiners.  Unlike the United States, Liechtenstein can be walked across in less than a month.

Thursday 3/19 – Amsterdam:  I will deeply examine their prostitution system and develop a strategy to develop a similar system in the United States.

Friday 3/20 – Stockholm:  Spring Training Camp with the Swedish Bikini Team.  I’m working on a political spin for this.  If you know one, please let me know.

Saturday 3/21 – Back to the United States.

March 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, foreign policy, issues, satire | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Daylight Saving Time Proposal

NOTE:  This was originally published on March 7, 2008.

At 2:00 Sunday Morning, most Americans will set their clocks and watches ahead one hour. Arizona and Hawaii won’t get to participate, so they won’t lose the hour of sleep that the rest of us will. My idea for Daylight Saving Time is different. My plan calls for setting the clocks ahead five hours. Critics claim that it will be dark while we wake up, it would be light out when we leave work and for the rest of the night. There would be no need for lamps after work. The only time lighting would be needed would be getting ready for work. Once I’d switch, I wouldn’t switch back. Few people can sleep 13 hours, so we’d all be waking up in the middle of the night.

March 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, issues | , , | 2 Comments


%d bloggers like this: