Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Making the Punishment Fit the Crime

The price on a pack of cigarettes will go up $1.00 per pack in a couple weeks.  The tax is supposedily going to go towards children’s health care programs.  It will not raise much money with the smoking legislation the way it is because there are fewer places to smoke every year and more money to smoke.  Here is how I would make sure enough money is generated for children’s health care:

  • Reverse anti-smoking laws – Reversing anti-smoking laws will increase smoking, which will increase sales, which will increase tax revenues.
  • Combine cigarette taxes with a lottery – 50% of the cigarette taxes can go towards a “smokers’ lottery”.  The lottery ticket can be on the aluminum foil on top of cigarette packs.  The drawing can be on the National Smoke-ender’s Day.
  • Eliminate the minimum smoking age – This will allow children to help fund their own health care.  Smoke breaks can replace recess.

I would rather see the punishment fit the crime.  If we want to raise money for children’s health care, we should not generate it from sin taxes.  This leaves a bad impression with children that sinning is OK.  I would raise taxes on children’s goods.

  • Fisher-Price toys
  • Sponge Bob licensed goods
  • Flintstone vitamins
  • Diapers
  • Bicyles under 24″
  • Poulan Chain saws

Parents will feel better when they buy a toy that spoils their child.  Part of the money they pay for spoiling their children would go towards their health care.  Many people will quit smoking.  Not too many people will pass up on a Dora the Explorer doll while their child is throwing a tantrum.

By taxing children’s stuff instead of adult stuff, there will be more money generated towards children’s health care.  Children will feel like they’re part of the solution by nagging their parents to buy them toys until health care is paid for.


March 29, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, health care, issues, satire, taxes | , , | 5 Comments


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