Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Making the Punishment Fit the Crime

The price on a pack of cigarettes will go up $1.00 per pack in a couple weeks.  The tax is supposedily going to go towards children’s health care programs.  It will not raise much money with the smoking legislation the way it is because there are fewer places to smoke every year and more money to smoke.  Here is how I would make sure enough money is generated for children’s health care:

  • Reverse anti-smoking laws – Reversing anti-smoking laws will increase smoking, which will increase sales, which will increase tax revenues.
  • Combine cigarette taxes with a lottery – 50% of the cigarette taxes can go towards a “smokers’ lottery”.  The lottery ticket can be on the aluminum foil on top of cigarette packs.  The drawing can be on the National Smoke-ender’s Day.
  • Eliminate the minimum smoking age – This will allow children to help fund their own health care.  Smoke breaks can replace recess.

I would rather see the punishment fit the crime.  If we want to raise money for children’s health care, we should not generate it from sin taxes.  This leaves a bad impression with children that sinning is OK.  I would raise taxes on children’s goods.

  • Fisher-Price toys
  • Sponge Bob licensed goods
  • Flintstone vitamins
  • Diapers
  • Bicyles under 24″
  • Poulan Chain saws

Parents will feel better when they buy a toy that spoils their child.  Part of the money they pay for spoiling their children would go towards their health care.  Many people will quit smoking.  Not too many people will pass up on a Dora the Explorer doll while their child is throwing a tantrum.

By taxing children’s stuff instead of adult stuff, there will be more money generated towards children’s health care.  Children will feel like they’re part of the solution by nagging their parents to buy them toys until health care is paid for.


March 29, 2009 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, health care, issues, satire, taxes | , ,


  1. […] More here: Making the Punishment Fit the Crime […]

    Pingback by Making the Punishment Fit the Crime — Best Free Quit Smoking | March 29, 2009

  2. This blog’s great!! Thanks :).

    Comment by matt | March 29, 2009

  3. I submit that to be fair, we embrace “crap taxes”. Start by taxing something we ALL use, toilet paper.
    It’s “green” and such a tax hits everyone.

    In line with this, because they are an environmental nightmare, tax the crap out of disposable diapers. Reusable cheaper and “green” (some literally). With cloth, we’d save trees while stimulating a long-shrinking sector of the economy. I also suggest raising the salary of anyone in the “crap chain”. If you collect, process or eliminate fecal matter from our world, to get a pay bump. These should be considered special people. It’s a thankless job whose value and recognition is long overdue.

    Again, tax the crap (literally) out of toilet paper and disposable diapers. Please, MR. Heare, consider adding “Crap taxes” to your platform.

    Please save us from ourselves. Thanks you.

    Your loving servant

    Comment by Paul Sonderman | March 31, 2009

  4. […] will be looking in further detail about the “Crap tax”.  If I decide to go use the crap tax, I would abolish alcohol taxes, cut gas taxes in half, and do […]

    Pingback by Many Things Happening « Ahmnodt Heare for President | March 31, 2009

  5. The “Crap Tax” is a great idea. I would make it go further and tax everything that makes us crap. (Mainly food and Taco Bell.)

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | April 16, 2010

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

%d bloggers like this: