Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Look at my Platform – National Holidays

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on national holidays.

I would observe Vanna White’s birthday as a national holiday, and not just because I am a Vanna White supremacist.

Some holidays do not make any sense.  We celebrate Columbus Day despite of the fact that he got lost trying to go to India and never landed on American soil.  Labor Day is a celebration of working, only we celebrate working by taking the day off.  Christmas is celebrated by going to parties with alcohol and other things Jesus would never do.  I think holidays should be relevant and make sense.  I propose the following holidays:

  • Vanna White Day – February 18 – Vanna White has been a cultural icon for over twenty years.  She has maintained grace and dignity while the world of entertainment has gone to Hell in a handbasket.  This holiday would replace President’s Day
  • Opening Day of the National Football League – First Sunday in September – I would get rid of the Kickoff on the Thursday before everybody else plays.  This holiday would replace Labor Day.
  • John Lennon Day – October 9 – Some people will criticize me for choosing John Lennon because he is not American.   Neither was Christopher Columbus nor Jesus, but we celebrate their birthdays.  I would rather celebrate the birthday of one of the best songwriters ever than a guy who got lost.  If people really wanted to celebrate the birthday of someone who got lost, my birthday is on July 11.

May 27, 2009 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, Platform | , , , , ,

2 Comments

  1. >>>parties with alcohol and other things Jesus would never do.

    If I were an advisor to your campaign (and a fine advisor I would be), I would agressively move to persuade you that, not only did Jesus party hearty at social events with alcohol, he was known to provide it if the host were to run out. He was well known for his vintage wines.

    You would totally lose the votes of the biblical-literalists if you stick with your current position.

    Comment by David | May 27, 2009

  2. […] is much for me to ponder.There is much for me to investigate.  Do I continue to observe Vanna’s birthday as a religious holiday?  Or do I accept the fact that She is a part of the Cinemafia.  There is so much for my soul to […]

    Pingback by Et tu, Vanna? (Then Fall Ahmnodt) « Ahmnodt Heare for President | March 13, 2011


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