Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Look at my Platform – Education

Over the last couple of weeks, I took issues from my platform and further explained my positions. Today, I conclude discussing my views with a look at education.

Fundamentals in education is sorely lacking. I would prepare children for the adult world by teaching them how to talk them out of speeding tickets and how to pass an employment drug screening.

It  seems that the more we spend on education, the worse it gets.  We must reverse that trend by spending less on education so we can get more out of it.  We should also look at what is being taught in schools and wonder why somebody with a high school diploma can’t count change or make C-4 explosives.  I would limit education to the skills required for someone to live in the adult world.

  • Talking out of a speeding ticket – Many people have no idea how to talk their way out of a speeding ticket.  It is a vital skill needed if you want to keep money in your pocket.
  • Pass a drug employment screening – All too often the difference between a rewarding career and a life of despair is a bad tinkle.  We should teach kids how to pass these drug tests so they can have successful futures.
  • Balancing a checkbook – Learning how to spend money before it arrives in your checking account is  an acquired art.  We need to teach children how to spend money they don’t have yet.  The federal government is a good role model for this.

America will never return to the prominence of greatness until we teach children the tools they will need to succeed in life and quit teaching them crap like Magellan going around the world and other useless tidbits for the 99% of Americans who will never be on “Jeopardy.”

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June 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, education, humor | , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Look at my Platform – Gun Control

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on gun control.

I would abolish gun laws. I would also ban bullets.

I would do away with any law that prohibits an American from owning a gun.  The Second Amendment provides the right for everybody to own a gun.  However; in order to make the world a safer place, I would ban bullets, because it is bullets that kill people, not guns.

When a person is shot, there is usually no sign of a gun, but the bullet is almost always there.  The only way a gun can kill a person is if someone is clubbed in the head with a gun.  All shooting murders involve a bullet penetrating a part of the body.

I would legalize all guns, including such guns as uzis and AK-47s.  Bullets, including the peas from pea shooters, will be banned with the penalty for possession being death by firing squad.

June 1, 2009 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, issues | , , , | 1 Comment

A Look at my Platform – The Environment

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on the environment.

My position on global warming after spending time studying it is that it is warmer in the summer than in the winter. Global Warming and any possible nuclear holocaust can be eliminated in one easy step. Aim all our nukes at the sun and fire away!

Many environmental studies bother me.  (Especially the studies on global warming.)  None of the studies look at one very important fact:  It is warmer in the summer than in the winter.  While we should be fighting global warming in the summer, we should encourage it as much as possible in the winter.  Sub-zero (Fahrenheit, not Canadian) temperatures are brutal and must come to a stop.

Aiming nuclear missiles at the sun does two very important functions.  The first function is it will cool off everybody (especially those in the deserts).  The second function is that it will rid us of nuclear weapons and the possibility of one of them accidentally detonating.

Aiming all of our nuclear weapons will stop global warming and eliminate a chance of a nuclear accident.  It’s killing two birds with one stone.  I will make sure those birds are not on the endangered species list.

June 1, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, environment, humor, Platform, satire | , , , , , | 8 Comments

   

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