The “Penniless” Campaign
Many of my critics claim that I have poor fundraising skills and that I will not become President because I do not have fundraising skills. They say this because I do not have a “PayPal” link on my website for campaign contributions. It is time to set the record straight.
The reason why I do not have a “PayPal” link on my website is because I am not accepting contributions. I am not accepting contributions because I cannot be bought like other politicians can. Running for President shouldn’t be about how much money one can raise. it should be about how one can help the country get on the right track.
By not raising money and not spending money I don’t have, I am hoping to show that I am fiscally responsible. Politicians raise millions for their campaigns because they love to spend. That should not be what being a politician is all about. Being a politician should be about the issues and character. Even many of my opponents will tell you that I am a character.
I hope this is a satisfactory explaination of why I am not raising money. If you have any questions, please leave a comment below or e-mail ahmnodtheare\@/politician.com.
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About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Too bad you can’t get all of the politicians to take the same position. Of course, knowing how politicians are, they will all agree, then when the time comes, they will suddenly have all of these contributions…
🙄
Would you accept payment in kind? I hear the Italians use deposits of prized Parmesan cheese to secure loans – I have some in my fridge, and can loan it to you if you need to secure cash in the future.
(It does smell a bit. But politics isn’t always fragrant)
[…] Money Bomb, Peter Schiff, Rand Paul, Ron Paul I did not want to raise any money for my campaign, but David suggested I should get a personal assistant so my schedule doesn’t become so […]
[…] Albee Thayer suggested I hire a prostitute. There are a couple problems with that approach. The first problem is that it’s illegal in every state except Nevada. The other problem is that I only want the sex so I can get caught in a scandal that would give my campaign publicity, it would mean that i would be spending money on my campaign. I refuse to spend money on my campaign. […]