Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The “Penniless” Campaign

Many of my critics claim that I have poor fundraising skills and that I will not become President because I do not have fundraising skills.  They say this because I do not have a “PayPal” link on my website for campaign contributions.  It is time to set the record straight.

The reason why I do not have a “PayPal” link on my website is because I am not accepting contributions.  I am not accepting contributions because I cannot be bought like other politicians can.  Running for President shouldn’t be about how much money one can raise.  it should be about how one can help the country get on the right track.

By not raising money and not spending money I don’t have, I am hoping to show that I am fiscally responsible.  Politicians raise millions for their campaigns because they love to spend.  That should not be what being a politician is all about.  Being a politician should be about the issues and character.  Even many of my opponents will tell you that I am a character.

I hope this is a satisfactory explaination of why I am not raising money.  If you have any questions, please leave a comment below or e-mail ahmnodtheare\@/politician.com.


August 13, 2009 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, editorial, election, politics, satire | , , , , ,


  1. Too bad you can’t get all of the politicians to take the same position. Of course, knowing how politicians are, they will all agree, then when the time comes, they will suddenly have all of these contributions…

    Comment by Claire Collins | August 13, 2009

  2. Would you accept payment in kind? I hear the Italians use deposits of prized Parmesan cheese to secure loans – I have some in my fridge, and can loan it to you if you need to secure cash in the future.

    (It does smell a bit. But politics isn’t always fragrant)

    Comment by womaninblack | August 15, 2009

  3. […] Money Bomb, Peter Schiff, Rand Paul, Ron Paul I did not want to raise any money for my campaign, but David suggested I should get a personal assistant so my schedule doesn’t become so […]

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  4. […] Albee Thayer suggested I hire a prostitute.  There are a couple problems with that approach.  The first problem is that it’s illegal in every state except Nevada.  The other problem is that I only want the sex so I can get caught in a scandal that would give my campaign publicity, it would mean that i would be spending money on my campaign.  I refuse to spend money on my campaign. […]

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