Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Do Not Forget!

Today is Election Day.  It is important that you vote.  New Jersey and Virginia will vote for a governor.  New York City will vote for a mayor.  Upstate New York will vote for an interim congressperson.

You should vote today even if the most important office up for grabs in your community is “dog catcher.”  Local elections are important because these are the people who write the pesky little laws that makes living in your town a sucky experience.

After you perform your patriotic duty by voting, you can experience what it is like to be a politician treating his or her constituents by attending an “Orgies for Abstinence” event taking place throughout the country.  If you can’t find one, then feel free to host one among friends.  Remember that Orgies for Abstinence is like War for Peace – only more fun!

Now get out and vote!

November 3, 2009 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire, War | , , , , , , , ,


  1. I’m in DC where there is no election today but I’m browbeating my relatives in VA to get out and vote.

    Suffice it to say that I am not planning on also inviting said relatives to an Orgies for Abstinence event.

    Comment by David | November 3, 2009

  2. I was going to bring my parents, but I am enough of a reminder for them of what happens when you don’t practice abstinence.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 3, 2009

  3. I would have assumed that, if your parents were attending with you providing transportation, you would take them to the orgy and then bring them back home afterwards.

    You must be living somewhere that people abuse the bring-take grammar rules. You need to work on that or the Society of Voting English Teachers is going to rip you apart in the campaign debates. I’m just sayin’…

    Comment by David | November 3, 2009

  4. David, I’m now in New Jersey. My grammar wasn’t this poor when I was going to D.C. public schools. I am trying to reach out to the people in my current state.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 3, 2009

  5. But now you are a national candidate – you must move beyond the parochial issues and local mores to appeal to the broader spectrum of voters. I’m no Donna Brasille or Karl Rove but even I know this. We need to re-evaluate your campaign advisors regarding such matters.

    Comment by David | November 3, 2009

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