Ahmnodt Running for Senate

It has come to my attention that some supporters in Massachusetts were going to write my name in for Senator.  I tried to tell them I was not interested, but they said they were going to write my name in anyway.

I appreciate the offer, but I do not really want the job.  This scares me because my not wanting the job might drive people to vote for me so I end up winning.  Let’s look at the three candidates running in Tuesday’s special election:

Republican – Scott Brown:  His claim to fame was posing for Cosmopolitan magazine wearing tightie whities.  He parlayed that success into a state senate job.  As a state senator, he wrote “RomneyCare.”  as a U.S. Senator, he vowed to vote against ObamaCare, even though they are the same thing.

Democrat – Martha Coakley:  Her bailout plan is the opposite of mine.  While I would bail out companies that have folded, she would bail out companies that do not exist yet.  She also claims by making wise investments in health care and education, that would create jobs.  The one problem is that she would be voting against President Obama’s plan because his plan hasn’t been wise.

Other – Joseph Kennedy:  He is either an independent or a libertarian depending on who you ask.  He is quick to distance himself from the Kennedy clan by announcing he isn’t related to them or the late Edward Kennedy.  This is the wisest decision made by any of the candidates.

I guess I am running also.  I don’t want to win because being a senator is boring and there isn’t enough caffeine in Washington to keep me awake in a debate between Harry Reed and Mitch McConnell.  But if you must vote for me, my first name is spelled “A-H-M-N-O-D-T” and my last name is “H-E-A-R-E”  as in “Can you hear me?”  Only my “Hear” has an “e” at the end.

May the second best candidate win.

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New Phone Number

I am pleased to announce that there is a new phone number that is much easier to remember for those wishing to reach the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign.  The new phone number is (507) – AHMNODT or (507) 246-6638.

I had received a few complaints about my old phone number from people saying it was too hard to remember.  As for those of you who have a hard time spelling my name, just remember this anagram:

A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.

The campaign keeps looking more professional everyday and I have yet to spend a penny on it.  This is because I am a fiscal conservative who doesn’t like to spend money if it doesn’t have to be spent.  The only “frivolous” spending I plan on doing as president as a $375 million statue of Vanna White to be standing in front of the White House.