Ahmnodt Running for Senate

It has come to my attention that some supporters in Massachusetts were going to write my name in for Senator.  I tried to tell them I was not interested, but they said they were going to write my name in anyway.

I appreciate the offer, but I do not really want the job.  This scares me because my not wanting the job might drive people to vote for me so I end up winning.  Let’s look at the three candidates running in Tuesday’s special election:

Republican – Scott Brown:  His claim to fame was posing for Cosmopolitan magazine wearing tightie whities.  He parlayed that success into a state senate job.  As a state senator, he wrote “RomneyCare.”  as a U.S. Senator, he vowed to vote against ObamaCare, even though they are the same thing.

Democrat – Martha Coakley:  Her bailout plan is the opposite of mine.  While I would bail out companies that have folded, she would bail out companies that do not exist yet.  She also claims by making wise investments in health care and education, that would create jobs.  The one problem is that she would be voting against President Obama’s plan because his plan hasn’t been wise.

Other – Joseph Kennedy:  He is either an independent or a libertarian depending on who you ask.  He is quick to distance himself from the Kennedy clan by announcing he isn’t related to them or the late Edward Kennedy.  This is the wisest decision made by any of the candidates.

I guess I am running also.  I don’t want to win because being a senator is boring and there isn’t enough caffeine in Washington to keep me awake in a debate between Harry Reed and Mitch McConnell.  But if you must vote for me, my first name is spelled “A-H-M-N-O-D-T” and my last name is “H-E-A-R-E”  as in “Can you hear me?”  Only my “Hear” has an “e” at the end.

May the second best candidate win.

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