Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Goals for March 2010

Back in January, I started the year by listing my goals for 2010.  Here they are:

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

I am nowhere near any of these goals.  This basically means I have 10 months to do 12 months of work.  I should go into more detail over some of the points so we all understand the goals I am trying to accomplish.

  1. 500 unique hits per day.  This means 500 different people coming to the site, not one person going to this site 500 times a day.  I would like to thank Brad for going to my site 500 times a day.
  2. Is largely dependent upon 4. happening.  We are currently at 20,000.  I need to be near 120,000 by the end of this month if we can make this happen.
  3. There hasn’t been any primaries yet, but the Texas governor’s primary is coming soon.  Since we are having a hard time making goals right now, I would suggest writing my name in only the Democratic governor’s primary in Texas.  Other races are fair game to all parties.  Here is a way to remember how to spell my name.
  4. Remember that bad press is better than no press.  Feel free to say anything bad about me on your blog.  People would rather think I am mean to seniors and children than not know anything about me.
  5. I really thought we had this one.  I am guessing that Obama Girl, Ron Paul Girl, and Jim Traficant Girl videos are 2008.
  6. I think once I am on one network that the other networks will trip over themselves wanting to be the next network to interview me.  If I am interviewed by Thanksgiving, I should have no problem meeting this goal.
  7. This is going to be hard to do unless it is fabricated on somebody else’s blog.  <hint>  Nobody believes a man’s escapades when he brags about it in first person.  Chuck Norris is popular despite his being modest about himself.  He has others brag about his accomplishments like: “Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.”

I am off to Dixville Notch, New Hampshire to campaign.  The road to the White House is long and bumpy.  It is time to repave it.

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March 1, 2010 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, media, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , ,

2 Comments

  1. I’m thinking number 7 would be easy enough. Place an ad in the personals: Need three sexy lady volunteers for upcoming political scandal.

    Most people rush to volunteer their services for a good deed.

    Comment by Tricia | March 1, 2010

  2. I tried submitting an ad like that once, but I never saw the ad in my church bulletin.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 1, 2010


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