Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Thank You, Congressman Mark Souder!

I am saddened to hear that Congressman Mark Souder is resigning because of an alleged affair he had with his mistress Tracy Jackson.  He was one of the few members of Congress who had any enthusiasm for the “Orgies for Abstinence”  events I had organized last year.  He even went out of his way to make a promotional video promoting abstinence to show to others:

If Congress Souder had one fault, it was that he seemed to be too enthusiastic about “Orgies for Abstinence.”  He should have invited his wife, but opted to invite a staffer instead.

I thank Congressman Souder for his contribution and wish him the best of luck in his endeavors.

May 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire, scandal | , , , , | 6 Comments

The “Press Freedom Act”

President Obama signed into law yesterday the “Press Freedom Act”.  This makes the State Department have to add a summary of press freedoms in other countries in addition to other things the State Department reports on.

I wonder if the State Department will be monitoring press freedoms in the United States.  If they are, we are off to a poor start as President Obama would not answer any questions after meeting the press about the “Press Freedom Act.”

This is where President Obama and I are different.  I would have shown that America is the champion of press freedoms.  I wouldn’t answer every question, but I would try.  I cannot answer how I feel about the officer who arrested me on Sunday because my attorney advised me that saying, “He’s missing a few doughnuts in the head but made up for it in the body” could be used against me in the coming trial.  I also can not talk about what I did on July 17, 2007 because I promised Angie Baumowitz I wouldn’t talk about our romantic escapade.

I will be able to talk about my policies, regardless of controversy.  Some have questioned if I should do that since I am going to deal with national security issues.  My answer to that is I will run a country that will not need to do things in secret.

I am thinking that President Obama will hold his press briefing on the “Healthy Foods Act” at a fast food restaurant.  He won’t be able to field questions because he’ll be chowing down on two double cheeseburgers.

May 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, issues, media, Obama, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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