What I Have Been Reading
You can learn a lot about a person by what he or she reads. I am more likely to get financial advice from someone who reads the Wall Street Journal than someone who reads the National Enquirer. Likewise, someone who goes to laughordie.com is more likely to be a fun person than someone who goes to the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA) website, even though JAMA sounds like a fun word. Below are some of what I have been reading:
NEWS
The Onion: Where I get most of my news. There is a section dedicated to what Americans are thinking. I read this section every day before reading anything else.
The Spoof: They cover stories no other news organization will. One disturbing story they covered was that chewable viagra was being marketed at children.
Weekly World News: This was my newspaper of choice when it was available in print form. Fortunately, it is still available on the web.
Blogs
The Problem With Young People – I have learned that seniors aren’t always the happy people the Cinemafia portray them to be. Much of the unhappiness can be attributed with young people. Don Mills has taught me a lot about senior citizens and the importance of staying off of lawns.
Trish O. Think’s Blog – It’s important to read blogs by people who think. It was this blog entry that made me discovered I was meant to be President of the United States.
Bearman Cartoons – Yes it’s cartoons, but it’s cartoons that take a look at what is happening in America. Without it, I could have very well thought that Americans were happy with how BP has been handling the oil spill.
Tales From the Trailerpark – It is important to reach out to everybody. Trailer parks are known as a magnet for tornadoes. The people who live in trailer parks are much like people who live in houses, apartments, and cardboard boxes. They enjoy some good moonshine and savor fine quality chewing tobacco as much as anybody else.
If you read the news and blog links that I have highlighted in this blog entry, then you will understand my mindset and realize I am the only candidate for President who gets it.
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July 21, 2010 -
Posted by Ahmnodt Heare |
commentary, editorial, humor, satire | American Voices, Bearman Cartoons, blogs, Don Mills, newspaper, The Onion, The Spoof, Trailer Park Barbie, trishothinks, Viagra, Weekly World News
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If I can only teach one person, I have succeeded in my life’s journey. I can now die happy. NOT that I want to die anytime soon.
My friends all had subscriptions to MAD and cracked. I had a subscription to Weekly World News. Hey if the Men in Black consider it gospel, who am I to judge.
You have a great list of “reading material”. That said, you will be well prepared when you are elected president of the United States. You must keep up to date with not only serious news, but there has to be some “down-time” for some good laughter and jovial amusement. Oh, by the way, you will need to hire a new jester….as poor Motley fool was beheaded by Obama not too long ago, (The White House Fool).
Bearman, It was MIB that got me to take Weekly World News as a serious source. I am hoping Batboy will endorse my campaign!
Trish, I think Obama is trying to do too much. He wants to be president and court jester, but has gotten the roles confused. His policies are quite comical and he acts presidential on “Comedy Night.”
I too read Weekly World News. Getting it online is just so-so. I don’t get my advice columnist or my worthless horoscope, but worse is I don’t get to see the reaction of the grocery store bagger as he places it in my sack. Always, I mean always, I’d get a sidelong glance that said “Freak”. That was half the fun. If I had a Bat Boy shirt on, all the better.
If Batboy ever runs for President, I will have to drop out of the race. Challenging him will be futile and I would fear taking votes that would have gone to him and ending up with someone else for President.
Ok…..who is batboy?
Bat Boy was made famous by Weekly World News. Here is a picture of him: http://www.clevescene.com/images/blogimages/2010/04/06/1270569813-bat-boy.jpg
OMG! That is hilarious! You won’t have to worry about “batboy”…..that’s like worrying about “Big Foot” being one of your opponents!
Oh, while we are on the subject of “cryptozoology”, and since you live in New Jersey……do you believe in “The Jersey Devil”?
Just thought I would get your input on that….hehe.
Rumor has it that the “New Jersey Devil” is none other than former governor Jon Corzine. People started figuring it out when it was discovered he was a hedge fund manager and later CEO of Goldman Sachs.