Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Presidential Workout

I stepped on the scale a few months ago and was shocked and saddened.  The need to step on the scale came to be when my favorite summer khakis were no longer fit.  I had somehow gained 50 pounds over the last year.

There are only 27 months until the general election.  The need to get into campaign shape is pressing.  The days when having a body like William Howard Taft is considered presidential are over.  People want their presidential candidate to be built like President Obama (or the 2008 Ahmnodt Heare.)

I had to change my diet and start exercising.  My diet will be posted tomorrow.  Today will be spent discussing my new exercise regiment.  Below is what it details:

  • Stretching – It is important to stretch your muscles before working out.  I stretch my arms and legs, fingers, toes, and tongue.  I would stretch my brain muscle but the skull is in the way.
  • Calisthenics –  It is important to start off slowly.  if you start off too fast, you could injure yourself.  Or worse – you could sweat.
  • Jogging – Jogging increases the heart rate, which is important in losing weight.  I jog to and from the mailbox every morning.
  • Weights – I believe in target training.  In addition to the abdomen, I work on the biceps, triceps, quadriceps, deltoids, and Altoids.
  • Cooldown – A proper cooldown reduces stiffness of the muscles.  I cool down by heading into the steam room and relaxing.  Afterwards, it’s off to the jacuzzi for 5-10 laps back and forth.

I am confident that my workout and diet will bring results and I will soon be campaign fit and ready to tackle the world’s problems.


August 4, 2010 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. So thankful you started working on those Altoids. It started becoming unbearable to talk to you.

    Comment by Bearman | August 4, 2010

  2. Bearman, I had been getting that a lot recently.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | August 4, 2010

  3. I agree about the calisthenics, not going too fast……I don’t like to sweat. They say sweating is good for you, but hey….wouldn’t it be easier to just go sit in a sauna?

    That’s good you are getting into shape, it will help when you are traveling around the country campaigning. I too have decided to get into better shape (more like tone up), as everything I read about surviving the coming WWIII, says one would want to be in tip-top shape.

    Love your workout routine by the way, I don’t think you will get much exercise doing laps in a jacuzzi though.

    Comment by trishothinks | August 4, 2010

  4. I am so lazy if you look up the word, my picture appears. Ugh. Glad you are doing something productive.

    Comment by yellowcat | August 4, 2010

  5. Trish, it turns out to be a 7.5 ft diameter jacuzzi. A lap is back and forth (15 feet) X 10 laps – 150 feet. Not to mention all of the turning around,..

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | August 4, 2010

  6. Yellowcat, I think you like the diet i will be posting tomorrow. There isn’t much to it.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | August 4, 2010

  7. […] by Ahmnodt Heare on August 5, 2010 · Leave a Comment  I discussed my exercise regiment in yesterday’s blog.  The other part of my weight loss plan is my diet.  A balanced diet […]

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  9. […] joined a gym in June, weighing 229 lbs when I first joined.  I have been working out since.  I am now down to 192 lbs and am beginning to look like a presidential […]

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