Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

An Open Letter to America’s Independent Voters

Dear Independent Voter,

Like you, I am an independent voter and am not registered to vote as a Democrat or as a Republican.  I am registered to vote as an Independent.  I tend to vote for candidates who are neither Democrats nor Republicans.  If I vote for them, I might as well be one of them.

I am writing this letter today because there are more people registered to vote as Independents (40%) than either as Democrats (30%) or as Republicans (30%).   In theory, in a three-way race between Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, the Independent candidate should win because the Independent has the largest base to work with.  Yet on Election Day, the Independent often finishes a distant third behind the two party candidates.  This has to stop.  We Independents need to stick together!

Many of us are Independents because we know the Democrats and the Republicans do not have the answers.  If either party had the answers, then things would be honky-dory and we wouldn’t need the other party or independents.  But things are far from honky-dory.  We have a high unemployment rate, a weak dollar, and an entertainment industry that is pricing itself out of the affordable price range of many Americans.

It is time to start voting for Independents.  A good way to start is with the 2012 Elections.  I am running as an Independent for President.  I am the candidate Independents have been wanting to vote for.  If everybody votes party lines, I would only get 40% of the votes, but I would get enough electoral votes to get elected.

You are registered as an Independent voter.  It is time to vote party lines and vote Independents into office and fix this country.   Some will say that Independent candidates don’t have a chance and voting for an Independent would be a wasted vote.  The only wasted vote is voting for the same thing and hoping to get something different.  Albert Einstein thinks this is insanity and I agree.

I am writing this letter now because it will take a while for this letter to be spammed to all Independent voters.  If you keep getting this letter in your e-mail, please don’t get mad, just delete all but one letter.  You will need one letter to print out so you will know how to spell “A-H-M-N-O-D-T  H-E-A-R-E” (without the quotes or hyphens) when you go to vote.  If you need to remember how to spell my name, below are tips for my first and last names:

AHMNODT – A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.

HEARE – Horny Elephants Are Really Exotic.

It wasn’t the Independents that ran up the debt – It was the two parties.  It wasn’t the Independents who have our troops in the Middle East years after “Mission Accomplished.” – It was the two parties.  It wasn’t the Independents who drove up the price of entertainment and snacks at movie theaters, it was the two parties.

Please let your fellow Independent voters know that there is finally an Independent that Independents can rally behind and vote for.  That Independent is Ahmnodt Heare.

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November 11, 2010 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, issues, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , ,

3 Comments

  1. I’m the first person to declare my vote for you. That means I’m buying myself a new pair of shoes after work.

    Do you need a campaign manager? If I was vetted, you’d probably lose due to your association with me, but I’m just offering.

    Comment by Vodka and Ground Beef | November 11, 2010

  2. Don’t think of it as my losing because of my association with you. Think of it as my winning despite my association with you. Let’s think positive! 🙂

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 11, 2010

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