Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Lessons From the Reunion

I went to my 15th year college reunion this weekend.  While things did not go quite as planned, I did manage to learn a bit about people and myself.  Many of the lessons I learned can be used on the campaign trail.

The first thing I learned is that not everybody knows my name and they’re not all glad I came.  I would have thought that being the first presidential candidate that St. Thomas Francis University has ever produced would have been a major positive for the campaign and for the school.  Others did not see it that way.  It turns out I am not the first candidate from STFU to run for President, though I am the first to run for President in a Presidential election year.  (Jesse Bankhart from the Class of 1957 ran for President in the 1982 election, despite that 1982 was not a Presidential election year.)

I also learned that people change.  The people I were closest with during my college years wanted little to do with me and weren’t interested in my campaign.

Jennie Mongrin is no longer a hottie.  She’s had quite a few Big Macs since we graduated.  But she is no longer a Republican and she said she has me to thank for that.  Jennie also said that I have the persona that people liked about George W. Bush, but with a better grasp of the issues.

The Young Republicans still have a voice on campus, but it doesn’t seem the same.  It’s a larger group, but it doesn’t seem to be as active, though they do have a nice autographed portrait of Senator Orrin Hatch in the office.  They are having problems getting any politicians to speak aside from a local town council member.

What I have learned this weekend is that people change.  People have different priorities as they get older.  The top priority for the future of my school when I went was that various departments receive national acclimation.  The top priority from my fellow alumni now is that the school get a football program.

I will not change my platform because I believe my platform is what America needs and that it’s right for America.  What I will do is change certain parts of my campaigning.  It started last month when I remembered, “Shake hands and kiss babies” and not vice-versa.  People want to know how I will help their individual needs.  Young adults don’t wan’t to hear about my seniors program and seniors don’t want to hear about my “kick-ass” education program.

I am now armed (figuratively, not literally) and ready to campaign and to get the campaign to grow.  America wants a candidate they can believe in.  And that is becoming harder since Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy will not run for office.


November 15, 2010 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , ,


  1. I’m still stuck on the fact that your college actually has reunions.

    Comment by Bearman | November 15, 2010

  2. It’s a small college. I’m blown away by the fact we now have a basketball team.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 15, 2010

  3. This only makes me love you more.

    Oh, and this line:

    ” . . . not everybody knows my name and they’re not all glad I came.”

    This is poignant and useful. Can I use it as the subtitle for my sexual autobiography?

    Comment by Vodka and Ground Beef | November 16, 2010

  4. Ms. Ground Beef, feel free to use the line. Writing an autobiography is hard. I’m in the middle of writing an unauthorized autobiography.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 16, 2010

  5. Just so you know, I’m currently writing an authorized biography on your unauthorized one.

    Comment by bschooled | November 17, 2010

  6. Thank you for the notification, bschooled. I can’t wait to read it.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 17, 2010

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