Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Take on Recent News Events

It is important for Presidential candidates to stay informed in what is happening in the news.  It is equally important to interpret the news and to come up with a plan of action.

News:  Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton.

Interpretation:  I thought we claimed independence from England.  I don’t know why this is news in the United States.

Action:  I will not watch the wedding.  Instead, I will celebrate my perpetual singleness by throwing a party celebrating my singleness.


News: Groups plan on boycott new screening procedures at airports.

Interpretation:  Good for them!  I fly often during my campaign and often go through screenings.  I don’t want to go through a full-body scanner for the jollies of some perverted security guard.  I also don’t want to be groped or fondled by anybody of my gender.

Action:  I won’t fly.  If I go to Europe, I will drive to Montreal and fly out of Duval Airport.  They maintain a high level of security without nudie pics and groping.


News:  President Obama will soon leave for Europe after coming back from a trip to Asia.

Interpretation: President Obama is in a no-win situation.  When he’s in Washington, he’s accused of doing too much.  When he’s abroad, he’s accused of not doing anything.  This means when he is here, he is doing the wrong things and America is better off when he is in other countries.

Action:  Bring this point up when campaigning.  If America is better off when Obama is abroad, we will be better off when he is out of office.  This is why it is important to elect me in 2012.  Not only am I not Barack Obama, I’m not even in his (or any other) party.


Watching the news is not enough.  A presidential candidate also has to interpret the news as well as take a course of action. I hope the examples above help you in understanding that I think presidentially and am worthy of your vote.


November 16, 2010 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. With all due respect, future President, I think you should reconsider the Prince William/Kate Middleton wedding.

    Not because it will have any effect on your campaign, mind you. (I just hate watching royal weddings alone.)

    Comment by bschooled | November 17, 2010

  2. I will watch it if I am campaigning in Canada that weekend.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 17, 2010

  3. I need to fly more often since I never get groped.

    Comment by yellowcat | November 18, 2010

  4. Yellowcat, you should call the TSA and tell them you want to volunteer for their next training film. Since the TSA likes to do things right, you know there will be several takes during filming.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 18, 2010

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