Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Changing my Name

I am thinking about changing my last name.  People change their names all the time to get themselves noticed.  Few people know who Jay Scott Greenspan, Jennifer Anastassakis, or Krishna Bhanji are, but we all know know who Jason Alexander, Jennifer Aniston, and Ben Kingsley are.

More recently, The Cincinnati Bengals’ Chad Johnson changed his name to Chad Ochocinco.  Ochocinco comes from the “85” in his jersey number.  “Ocho” is “Eight” and “Cinco” is “Five”.  Nobody confuses Chad Johnson of the Bengals with Chad Johnson, the goalie for the Hartford Wolfpack (The New York Rangers’ minor league affiliate) anymore.  The name change has worked out quite well for him.

My name change will be similar to Chad Ochocinco’s.  My first name will still be Ahmnodt.  I am named after the great Bulgarian sculptor Ahmnodt Fukinov, who recently passed away.  Neither of my parents would approve my changing my first name.  The change will be my last name.  I am thinking of changing my last name to Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco.  “Cuatro” is “four” and “cinco” is “five.”  “Forty-five” represents my being the forty-fifth President of the United States.

The name changes has it advantages, but it also has a few disadvantages:

  • Coming up with a catchy acronym for “Cuatrocinco” that people will remember to learn how to spell my last name.  I might as well write a book and try to recite it.
  • My daughter Patricia gets teased enough from kids whose mother and father are married and have the same last name.  I never married her mother, but Patricia has my last name.
  • “Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco for America.  Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco for You.” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Ahmnodt Heare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for You.” does.

Should I change it or leave my name as it is?  Please leave a comment with your opinion.  I will weigh all opinions carefully before making a decision.  Thank you for your help in this matter.


November 20, 2010 - Posted by | campaign, humor, satire, write-in | , , , , , , , ,


  1. I would be really mad if you changed your last name since it would make my new tattoo obsolete.

    Comment by yellowcat | November 21, 2010

  2. So far the consensus here is the same feeling with you. I am receiving e-mails from supporters who tag billboards who were upset citing how long it takes to tag a billboard without getting caught.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 21, 2010

  3. Yuman…your last name should be Yuman!

    Comment by Master Kushikimi-San | November 22, 2010

  4. There was a man of Chinese descent who was calling himself “Ahmnodt Yoo” to see the reaction people would give him. He said people thought he was stuck up. I’m afraid “Ahmnodt Yuman” would have the same connotation.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 22, 2010

  5. President Cuatrocinco, what will you do for health care?

    President Cuatrocinco, what will you do for taxes?

    President Cuatrocinco, what will you do for the war on terrorism?

    I was just getting used to typing “President Cuatrocinco” with some silly questions. I really like the way it feels off my fingers on the keypad. Good ring to it.

    Comment by Vodka and Ground Beef | November 24, 2010

  6. I have decided to keep my name “Ahmnodt Heare” for now. “Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco” will be an official nickname and there will be occasions where I will make appearances as “Ahmnodt Cuatrocinco.”

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 24, 2010

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