Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Superpowers

My parents’ next door neighbor is a kind lady with a slight flair for the eclectic.  According to her, everybody has at least one superpower.  Some have at least two, and it’s people with more than two superpowers that often become leaders.  I asker her what my superpowers were, but she said I had to figure that out for myself.

It took me until I got home from my parents’ for me to realize what my superpowers are.  It turns out I have quite a few of them:

  • I am able to break “Unbreakable Combs”.  They claim to be unbreakable, but I have broken four of them so far.  The first one I broke while drunk to show that I can break an “Unbreakable Comb.”  The second one I broke a few days later to prove I can also do it sober.  I have no idea how I broke the other two, but I did.  I am now on comb number five.  Number five is alive!
  • I can put stains in “Stainless Steel”.  I am not talking about stains that can be removed with a little bit of scrubbing.  I am referring to stains that are permanent and will live happily ever after.  The “Stainless Steel” sink can be blown up, and the only thing that would be left is the stain itself.
  • I can make a deaf person tell me to shut up.  Imagine not being able to hear anything.  Now imagine somebody who can drive a deaf person nuts to the point that he or she tells you to shut up!
  • That crabby guy who doesn’t like anybody likes me.  I can’t explain it, but this happens once in a while.  I have a way with people as long as those are not women I wish to have nookie with.

I do not know if my superpowers will be of any use in the White House,but it is nice to know I have superpowers should I ever need to use them.


November 28, 2010 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , ,


  1. You are the man of stainless steel! Superman eat my dust!

    Comment by Master Kushikimi-San | November 29, 2010

  2. I can make obscene phone callers hang up on me.

    Comment by yellowcat | December 1, 2010

  3. Yellowcat, that is a cool superpower! The best I can do is have Suicide Prevention hang up on me.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 1, 2010

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