Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Snow Removal Plan

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure (whatever that means).  I am not suggesting we prevent snow.  Snow is pretty when you don’t have to drive in it or shovel.  What I am suggesting is finding a way to make sure it doesn’t accumulate on the roads or sidewalks.

Here is my plan:  installing low-voltage wires in the roads and sidewalks.  These wires can keep the warms roads warm enough to melt the snow as soon as it hits the road.  With the roads being warm, the water will be unable to freeze up.

The best part is that it won’t take much energy to warm the roads.  It’s not like it’s going to be warmed to room temperature.  It would only have to be warmed to 35F.   This will also lessen the chance of electrocution because it won’t take much electricity to keep roads at 35F when it’s cold.

Some people might be wondering about this idea.  It is better than other ideas I have heard:

  • Drench the snow in alcohol and set it ablaze.
  • Build tunnels over the roads.
  • Build a dome with a retractable roof over the entire town.

The plan I am offering now is safer and less expensive than the other plans.  It also beats having to wait three days to get your road plowed.

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December 29, 2010 - Posted by | commentary, humor, satire | , , , , ,

6 Comments

  1. Count me in, Ahmnodt. I, for one am getting sick of exchanging sexual favors for a well-shoveled sidewalk.

    It was fine before, but now that my numbers are getting up there, I’m looking for alternative options.

    Comment by bschooled | December 29, 2010

    • I know how you feel, Bschooled. I tried sexual favors in exchange of getting my sidewalk shoveled, but I couldn’t find a woman willing to shovel. 😦

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 29, 2010

      • You statement here seems to contradict what you say in your post: Ahmnodt a Ladies Man. Hmm…

        Comment by Mel | December 30, 2010

      • I had it as a question: “Ahmnodt a Ladies Man?

        Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 30, 2010

  2. Tell me more about this alcohol idea

    Comment by nursemyra | December 30, 2010

  3. The alcohol involved pouring booze on the snow. It can be dangerous and is a terrible waste of alcohol.

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 30, 2010


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