We Must Continue!
My opponents are doing whatever it takes to make sure I am not elected President in 2012. The latest blow came when long-time supporter Tom DeLay was sentenced to three years in prison for breaking a law that doesn’t exist. They can’t arrest all of us! There are too many of us to arrest (especially on laws that do not exist!)
If you find yourself in this predicament, let me know. The campaign and fellow supporters will make sure that people who try to arrest you on charges that do not exist are arrested for harassment (a crime that does exist.)
Below are a few non-existent laws they might try to pin one of my supporters with:
- Felony Jaywalking – Jaywalking is an infraction, not a crime. Even if done with other crimes, it is but an infraction and jail time cannot be served solely for jaywalking.
- Tearing off a mattress tag – Opponents might tell authorities that you tore off a tag from a mattress and they will try to get the police to inspect your mattress without a subpoena. Know your rights. Make sure the police have a subpoena and don’t let them in without one.
- Farting – Flatulence is not a crime, but they might trump up charges saying that you are using a biological weapon.
- Not Farting – If you do not fart, they might accuse you with storing a biological weapon.
We must be vigilant. We must be persistent. We must fight the good fight and stand together and not allow our opponents to intimidate us in any way!
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About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
I’ve been guilty of point #3 today but I blame this on my wife’s cooking. Does this make her a partner in crime?
Also, my gravatar got arrested for blowing bubbles into my Starbucks Frappuccino. Just take a look: http://goo.gl/gWJOp
Editor’s Note: This is the 2,500th comment to this blog.
Mel,
I don’t think it’s a crime, but just in case, I would look at intent. Did she want you to fart?
I will do what I can to free your avatar.
2,500 comment!
Do I win something? I’ll just take your continued support at Dummies 🙂
Congrats.
You win an autographed picture!