Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

We Must Continue!

My opponents are doing whatever it takes to make sure I am not elected President in 2012.  The latest blow came when long-time supporter Tom DeLay was sentenced to three years in prison for breaking a law that doesn’t exist.  They can’t arrest all of us!  There are too many of us to arrest (especially on laws that do not exist!)

If you find yourself in this predicament, let me know.  The campaign and fellow supporters will make sure that people who try to arrest you on charges that do not exist are arrested for harassment (a crime that does exist.)

Below are a few non-existent laws they might try to pin one of my supporters with:

  • Felony Jaywalking – Jaywalking is an infraction, not a crime.  Even if done with other crimes, it is but an infraction and jail time cannot be served solely for jaywalking.
  • Tearing off a mattress tag – Opponents might tell authorities that you tore off a tag from a mattress and they will try to get the police to inspect your mattress without a subpoena. Know your rights.   Make sure the police have a subpoena and don’t let them in without one.
  • Farting – Flatulence is not a crime, but they might trump up charges saying that you are using a biological weapon.
  • Not Farting – If you do not fart, they might accuse you with storing a biological weapon.

We must be vigilant.  We must be persistent.  We must fight the good fight and stand together and not allow our opponents to intimidate us in any way!

 

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January 14, 2011 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, postaday2011, satire | , , , , ,

5 Comments

  1. I’ve been guilty of point #3 today but I blame this on my wife’s cooking. Does this make her a partner in crime?

    Also, my gravatar got arrested for blowing bubbles into my Starbucks Frappuccino. Just take a look: http://goo.gl/gWJOp

    Editor’s Note: This is the 2,500th comment to this blog.

    Comment by Mel | January 14, 2011

    • Mel,

      I don’t think it’s a crime, but just in case, I would look at intent. Did she want you to fart?

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | January 14, 2011

    • I will do what I can to free your avatar.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | January 14, 2011

    • 2,500 comment!

      Do I win something? I’ll just take your continued support at Dummies 🙂

      Congrats.

      Comment by Mel | January 15, 2011

      • You win an autographed picture!

        Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | January 15, 2011


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