Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Can’t Get Into It

The wear and tear from running for President of the United States is starting to pay its toll.  I am contemplating withdrawing my name from consideration.  My campaign has taken a number of hits in recent weeks:

  • My radio show is on hiatus as I try to find a time that is suitable for both me and my supporters.  I am no longer allowed to host a show between 7:00PM and 11:00PM.
  • When asking, “Who is Ahmnodt Heare” on answers.com, the reply that was given was, “That question is inappropriate.”  (This has since been changed to read, “Ahmnodt Heare is an Independent candidate for President.”
  • My bathroom is still leaking.  The runaround I keep getting has helped me lose five pounds.  The landlord says it’s condo management’s responsibility, The condo management says it’s the landlord’s responsibility and my neighbor says it’s “Bad karma, Man.”
  • My work schedule has been hectic.  Everybody wants stuff done now.  It’s like a lemmings mentality.  Once one person asks for my services, all the other lemmings follow and want my services.
  • Sometimes I feel like slamming the head of a person who deserves his head slammed against the wall.  This isn’t very presidential so I can’t do it.
  • I have been criticized for spending too much time campaigning in nudie bars and brothels.  Nudie bar workers are voters and deserve to hear my campaign as much as anybody else.  I haven’t been to a brothel in two years and when I do go to brothels, it is not to campaign.

I am hoping to find the resolve I will need to campaign for the next two years.

March 1, 2011 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , ,


  1. Your supporters need you. Although the entire bathroom fiasco does seem like a time-consuming drain on your campaigning.
    I for one hope that you do re-announce your run for the presidency on Wednesday.

    Comment by Rachael Black | March 1, 2011

  2. You only need to campaign long enough to become a press darling

    Comment by Bearman | March 1, 2011

  3. Don’t give up, Ahmnodt!

    It may not seem that way now, but trust me. You’ve got this one in the bag.

    Comment by bschooled | March 3, 2011

  4. I’m back to fighting the good fight for the good people of America and Venezuela. Thank you very much Rachael, Bearman, and Bschooled for your continued support!

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 3, 2011

  5. NOOOOO! Say it isn’t so!

    Comment by yellowcat | March 11, 2011

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