Et tu, Vanna? (Then Fall Ahmnodt)
Yesterday was the saddest day of my life. It started innocently enough as I prepared myself for the daily ritual of watching “Wheel of Fortune.” The first puzzle was completed without a hitch.
Then it was the start of the second puzzle. It was a “Before and After”, my favorite kind of puzzle. It was also a prize puzzle. The prize was a trip to Canada.
A trip to Canada? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And there was Vanna, turning the letters as if nothing was wrong. It seemed like it didn’t bother Her at all. It was either the greatest acting performance ever or it was an act of treason – happily sending people to Canada. What’s the next trip prize going to be? A trip for two to Hell?
I was so distraught that I had to change the channel. The last time I changed the channel during “Wheel of Fortune” was when Chuck Wollery hosted and the letter-spinner wasn’t Vanna. Sleeping was difficult as I was tossing and turning all night and waking up from nightmares of Stephen Harper hosting “Wheel of Fortune” while holding a pitchfork and a value on the wheel of “$666.”
There is much for me to ponder.There is much for me to investigate. Do I continue to observe Vanna’s birthday as a religious holiday? Or do I accept the fact that She is a part of the Cinemafia. There is so much for my soul to digest but not a lot of time to digest it.
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