Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Et tu, Vanna? (Then Fall Ahmnodt)

Yesterday was the saddest day of my life.  It started innocently enough as I prepared myself for the daily ritual of watching “Wheel of Fortune.”  The first puzzle was completed without a hitch.

Then it was the start of the second puzzle.  It was a “Before and After”, my favorite kind of puzzle.  It was also a prize puzzle.  The prize was a trip to Canada.

A trip to Canada?  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And there was Vanna, turning the letters as if nothing was wrong.  It seemed like it didn’t bother Her at all.  It was either the greatest acting performance ever or it was an act of treason – happily sending people to Canada.  What’s the next trip prize going to be?  A trip for two to Hell?

I was so distraught that I had to change the channel.  The last time I changed the channel during “Wheel of Fortune” was when Chuck Wollery hosted and the letter-spinner wasn’t Vanna.  Sleeping was difficult as I was tossing and turning all night and waking up from nightmares of Stephen Harper hosting “Wheel of Fortune” while holding a pitchfork and a value on the wheel of “$666.”

There is much for me to ponder.There is much for me to investigate.  Do I continue to observe Vanna’s birthday as a religious holiday?  Or do I accept the fact that She is a part of the Cinemafia.  There is so much for my soul to digest but not a lot of time to digest it.


March 13, 2011 - Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, humor, issues, satire, Vanna White | , , ,


  1. I’m still stuck on the fact that you still watch Wheel of Fortune.

    Comment by Bearman | March 13, 2011

    • Why? Doesn’t everybody?

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 13, 2011

  2. So I can assume you’re not a fan of Jeopardy hosted by Canadian Alex Trebek, right?

    Comment by The Good Greatsby | March 14, 2011

    • Not all Canadians are bad. I wrote in a previous post that I like Alex Trebek, Pamela Anderson, Rush, hockey, and Canadian people in general. My issue is with the Canadian government.
      The Canadian government has had a program in place since Pierre Trudeau was Prime Minister that trains spies to infiltrate and destroy the great American entertainment industry.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 14, 2011

    • Some of the spies have included William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and most recently, Justin Bieber and Avril Lavigne. Below is how I would handle Canada: https://ahmnodtheare.wordpress.com/2009/05/20/a-look-at-my-platform-war/

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 14, 2011

  3. I believe that Vanna may be a robot. I traveled in the Soviet Union in 1976. Afgter standing for hours in line it was my turn to see the body of Lenin. Entombed for all time and (allegedly) embalmed.
    He looked like a wax dummy to me. As the large Soviet guard pushed me along I was disturbed by the look of vacancy and inability to show any aging.

    Vanna White reminds me of this. Vanna White is OBVIOUSLY a cinemafia spy.

    Comment by Rachael Black | March 14, 2011

    • i hope you’re wrong. I’m distraught thinking of that possibility.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 14, 2011

  4. She gets paid to turn letters regardless of what’s going on just as I get paid to smile and act as if I like people.

    Comment by yellowcat | March 22, 2011

    • She doesn’t just turn letters. It’s the way She turns letters.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | March 22, 2011

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