Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

An Open Letter to ESPN

April 2, 2011

Dear ESPN Programming Doofus:

I am not just a presidential candidate, I am a baseball fan.  To be precise, I am a Washington Nationals fan.  I am writing because I have taken a peek at the Sunday Night Baseball schedule and I am not happy.

It seems you like to oversaturate your programming with Yankees and Red Sox games.  That series gets old after a while (Especially after Fox always broadcasts the Saturday game the day before.  There are many other series that are more interesting.

I understand that the Nationals are not a very good team right now and that they’re not going to get a lot of national airtime.  How about a Twins-Rangers game?  They both won their divisions last year.  Dare I say that both of those teams are better than this year’s Yankees without being ridiculed?

Better yet, show the National League some love.  After all, the defending world champions are the San Francisco Giants (a National League Team).  The National League plays real baseball where the pitchers get to bat.  The American League has the Designated Hitter and is for pitchers with no genitals for batting.  (I’d write, “balls” but my mother reads this blog.)

If you need any help with this, I will be happy to assist.  Before you know it, you will be enjoying higher ratings.

Sincerely,

Ahmnodt Heare

Independent Candidate for President (Write-In)

Baseball (Washington Nationals) Fan

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April 2, 2011 - Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , ,

6 Comments

  1. Let me know if the doofus responds.

    Comment by Bearman | April 2, 2011

    • I will post the reply as soon as I get it.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | April 3, 2011

  2. Dear ESPN, stop putting baseball games on over playoff hockey. That is all.

    P.S. I hate the Yankees and the Red Sox more than I hate brussel sprouts, and I REALLY hate brussel sprouts.

    Comment by kluckmeister | April 3, 2011

    • ESPN doesn’t carry hockey anymore. I feel the same way about the Yankees-Red Sox… and Brussel Sprouts.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | April 3, 2011

  3. I’m not sure if ESPN is aware baseball has more than two teams.

    Comment by The Good Greatsby | April 3, 2011

    • I doubt it. The last time ESPN had the Pittsburgh Pirates, Barry Bonds scored on a double hit by Andy Van Slyke.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | April 4, 2011


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