Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Me vs Them – Foreign Policy

There are only two candidates with any foreign policy experience.  One is President Obama.  He didn’t get his experience until he became President.  The other is Jon Huntsman.  He didn’t get his experience until Obama became President.  (He was the U.S. Ambassador to China.  He was appointed by President Obama.)

Foreign policy experience is highly overrated.  Otherwise guys like Tim Pawlenty, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and Ahmnodt Heare wouldn’t be running for President.  While I haven’t an ounce of experience in foreign policy, it doesn’t mean I don’t know foreigners.  Below is what I know about foreigners:

  • Canadians do not like it when Americans refer to Canada as “almost a state.”  Canada is it’s own country.  They have their own leader, their own currency, and their own culture.  (Hockey, Tim Horton’s, and Poutine.)
  • Australians don’t like it when you complement them on their British accents.  Their accents are quite different than the British.  (Though it would be hard to type examples in a blog.)
  • Don’t go to a country and tell people that Americans are better than they are.  We are better, but rubbing their noses in it only makes them hostile.
As President, I will not send our country to war unless the situation is so severe, I’d be willing to fight on the front lines.  The odds of that happening is minimal because I am a wuss.  I don’t like fighting with a gun or getting blown up.  My fighting lately has been limited to “Knock-’em Sock-’em Robots.”
President Obama and most of the Republican candidates seem content with troops in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Libya.  Ron Paul is the only exception among the Republicans, but I don’t see him as one willing to fight on the front lines should the situation call for it.

This post is part of the “Me vs. Them” series.  Come back often to see the entire series.

May 23, 2011 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, foreign policy, humor, Republicans, satire | , , , ,


  1. Maybe you and the taliban can do rockemsockem robots.

    Comment by Bearman | May 23, 2011

    • I’ll need more practice if I am going to use it as a foreign policy tool.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | May 23, 2011

  2. I’m beginning to think you’ve got a good shot at the presidential candidacy. I’d like to see rockem sockem robots used during the presidential debates…it would be very telling.

    NOTE: This is the 3,000th comment.

    Comment by youngamericanwisdom.com | May 24, 2011

    • Unless I am invited to the debates, Americans will be unable to see my “Knock-’em Sock-’em Robots” prowess.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | May 24, 2011

      • Am I the 3,000th comment? (see “Note” under my comment)Fantastic…do I get a prize?

        Comment by youngamericanwisdom.com | May 25, 2011

      • Yes you are the 3,000th comment. You win an autographed photo suiting for hanging in a fireplace.

        Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | May 25, 2011

  3. I didn’t even know anyone referred to Canada as a state.

    See? This is why you need to be leader.

    Comment by bschooled | May 24, 2011

    • To the best of my knowledge, none of these people are currently working in the State Department. Rumor has it though that Geroge W. Bush sometimes brags about how he appointed Stephen Harper to be Prime Minister of Canada.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | May 25, 2011

  4. It’s also good policy to not blow up other countries, either, as they do tend to get annoyed when you do that.

    Comment by Binky | May 24, 2011

    • Not blowing up other countries is important in my foreign policy. Our allies would hate that if we did that to them.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | May 25, 2011

  5. Bearman beat me to my immediate answer. damn.

    Comment by Rachael Black | May 25, 2011

  6. Australians also don’t like it when you mockingly say, “Throw another shrimp on the barbie.”

    Comment by yellowcat | May 29, 2011

    • I like shrimp. I wouldn’t throw one on a barbie or any other doll.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | May 29, 2011

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