Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Me vs Them – National Security

There are two parts of national security:  What we need to do and how to do it.  All of the presidential candidates including me agree that we need to secure our borders.  The difference between us is how to go about them.

My plan is simple:  Protect our borders.  Army bases along the borders with Canada and Mexico.  Naval bases along the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans and throughout Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes.  Pull the troops out of other countries.  They can protect their own borders.

Barack Obama’s plan is more complex:  Have our troops fighting wars overseas.  Add a troop or two from other countries and call it a “NATO Mission.”

Most of the Republican candidates have a plan similar to President Obama’s plan.  The biggest difference is that they wouldn’t have foreigners in an American military unit.  Ron Paul’s plan is closer to mine than to the other Republicans’ plans, but I doubt he would have the troop concentration along Canada that I would.

The TSA is another part of National Security.  Many of the candidates feel that TSA agents have to grope airport passengers to make the country safer.  I don’t feel safer when a guy touches my junk.  I would have the passenger touch his or her own junk in front of the TSA agent of his or her own choosing,The agent can instruct how to touch (for those who don’t know how to touch themselves.)

America needs to be safe again.  Securing the borders does this.  Having those who are supposed to protect us fighting in the Middle East does not.  Neither does being groped by a stranger.

This post is part of the “Me vs. Them” series.  Come back often to see the entire series.

May 29, 2011 - Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , ,


  1. I was recently groped in the Ft Meyers,FL airport for no apparent reason other than I happened to be the only person under the age of 50 at the time. It was a pretty damn pathetic attempt on their part, considering nothing about me looks threatening or terrorist except for my three unruly children who were all freaked out by the thought of their mother being felt-up by a crew of complete strangers who thought I would be reassured by the fact that they were wearing gloves and used the back of their hands!

    Comment by youngamericanwisdom.com | May 31, 2011

  2. I think we should have our very own Great Wall with gun toting, goose-stepping guards. And razor wire. Don’t forget the razor wire.

    Comment by yellowcat | June 8, 2011

    • I was thinking more in line with those door alarms like in convenience stores that ding when the door opens. Have those alarms all along the borders. I need the razor wire to protect my porn collection.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | June 8, 2011

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