Bedridden

I will be laid up in bed for the next few days while I am recovering from a hamstring injury.  This will prohibit me from making the campaign events I had planned to make over the next few days.  It’s sad because I hadn’t been on the campaign trail for a while and it was yesterday that I was able to put the schedule together.

Below is the events I will not be able to attend this week:

• Tonight – Social Networking Utilization Summit – White Plains, NY – I was supposed to give a speech on how I was able to have several tweets read on television and how having tweets read has increased the number of people following me on Twitter.  I was going to stay afterwards for the seminar on how to trend.  As popular as my campaign is becoming, #ahmnodtheare is not trending anywhere in the United States.  (Though rumor has it that #ahmnodthearesucks trends a couple times a week in Toronto and in Calgary.
• Tomorrow – A Synopsis of Recent Weather Phenomenon – New York, NY – I was invited to speak at Columbia University to speak.  Not on what causes climate change (I have no idea) but on how (and in my speech, when) to fight climate change.
• Thursday – Parents Without Partners – Wayne, NJ – This isn’t a traditional campaign as much as a personal stop.  But telling single moms that I am a single dad who is running for President is an ice-breaker.  It also sounds more impressive than the guy who brags about being the shift manager at Arby’s.
• Friday – Rally in front of the FCC building – Washington, DC.  I wanted to get the word out that my name is being censored when the mainstream media is talking about presidential candidates.  Censorship is wrong (except when I need to cover my hide to better serve Americans)

I am hoping to be up and more than hopping along by Saturday.  The main obstacle is not hurting myself getting out of bed to go to the bathroom (which is how I got hurt in the first place.)

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Commentary on Recent Political Events

A lot has gone on in the political world in recent weeks.  I’ll explain in a minute, but I have to apologize for a tweet I posted today.

“If you are a Democrat or a Republican, you are mentally incompetent.”

I apologize for those who are mentally incompetent for comparing them to Republicans and Democrats.  It was in poor taste and I will use better judgement in my future tweets unless I am drunk.

Presidential candidate Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was offended when Fox News anchor Chris Wallace asked her if she was a flake.  It was discovered later that Congressman Jeff Flake was offended if he was a Bachmann.

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman announced he was running for President as did former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty.  Here is advice for those planning to run for President in the future:  If you are going to run for president, do so before the first poll.  Once the polls start coming out.  if you aren’t leading, there’s no point in running.  It’s hard enough to catch up when you’ve been running since the beginning.  I have been running since the day after the 2008 election.  I am speaking from experience.

Gay marriage was passed in New York State.  I support this.

Anthony Weiner resigned after lying about his weiner.  He’ll be back in politics.  He lives in New York,  where people tend to be forgiving of politicians who wander to the dark side. (Especially if he or she is a Democrat.)

Rod Blagojevich was found guilty of 17 of 18 charges.  He could be spending the next 250 years in prison.  I am guessing he will be the happiest person in the world in 2361.

There are 16 1/2 months until Election Day 2012.  I am not being mentioned yet, but I will be soon.  I will be sending another press release to the news networks challenging President Obama to a series of debates.  He should take me up on the challenge and explain his actions to the American people.