Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Another Reason to Hate the Dallas Cowboys

I am a Washington Redskins fan.  Hating the Cowboys is as natural as walking or picking scabs off of my mother’s face.  Most of my hatred of the Cowboys has come from the many games the Redskins have played the Cowboys over the years.  The Cowboys cheat.  (If you don’t believe me, ask any New York Giants or Philadelphia Eagles fan.)

The United States has gone downhill since the Cowboys were given the moniker of “America’s Team.”  This is a totally inaccurate assessment.  The capitol of America is not in Dallas, it’s in Washington, DC.  Rather than proclaim the Redskins as America’s team, I will say that America has 30 7/8 teams.  (Dallas is a bad example of America and the Buffalo Bills play a home game in Toronto.)

The latest reason to hate the Dallas Cowboys has nothing to do with the Redskins.  For that matter, it has nothing to do with any team in the NFC.  The reason why we should hate the Cowboys now is because of their fans.  Say what you want about fans of the Eagles, New York Yankees, and Justin Bieber, but even they wouldn’t use a taser on fans of another team.

This incident occurred on September 11, 2011 during a game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.  The Cowboy fan (wearing a DeMarcus Ware jersey) tasered a Jets fan after the Jets fan heckled him for not standing for the National Anthem on September 11 at a place where one could see where the Twin Towers used to stand.)

The worst part of this is that for now on, when attending an NFL game in any stadium, fans will be subject to a TSA-style screening and having their privates felt to make sure said privates are not a taser. Thanks to “America’s Team” and their fans, going to a game will be like going to an airport (being groped by middle-aged ugly guys and dealing with excess baggage.)

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September 21, 2011 - Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , ,

4 Comments

  1. Reason Number One: Organized Sports Killed My Childhood
    Signed,
    Always-Picked-Last

    Comment by Rachael Black | September 21, 2011

    • At least you were picked. The kids used to pick everybody else and then start playing before I was picked.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | September 22, 2011

  2. Is picking scabs off your mother’s face the reason you love the Redskins or vice-versa?

    Comment by bschooled | September 22, 2011

    • Neither, It was one of the few things I could do on the first try.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | September 22, 2011


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