Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I Win a Straw Poll

I am proud to announce that I have finally won a straw poll.  Depending on how one interprets the results, I either won handily (66.67% of the votes cast) or by one vote.  Final Results of the R.U. Heare* Household Poll:

HEARE: 2 votes

CAIN: 1 vote

For some reason, my father did not vote for me.  (He voted for me in 2008 while my mother voted for Barack Obama).  My parents never vote for the same candidate.  My father is a staunch Republican and my mother is a tree-hugging liberal.  But there is more to their relationship than politics.   They both enjoy art, watching game shows, and tormenting me.

I should mention that the reason why I am in Washington and not home working is because of holidays.  My latest client took a couple days off because he is Jewish and will be observing Yom Kippur tomorrow night.  Monday is Columbus Day, when we Americans celebrate the birthday of a guy who got lost four times.

I am hoping to gain some support for the “Occupy Pennsylvania Avenue” rally I want to start this weekend.  While “Occupy Wall Street” has good intentions, it won’t be able to accomplish much because Wall Streeters don’t write laws.  They only pay guys to write the laws for them.  “Occupy Pennsylvania” will go right to the sources – the people Wall Streeters are paying as well as the President and the Supreme Court.

Things need to change and they need to change as soon as possible.  America cannot afford to wait until you vote for me.  We can’t wait for the guy who people voted for to deliver that change either.  He has had almost three years and there hasn’t been much change.  We have to bring the change because as long as the powers that be are being well off for not changing, they’re not going to change.

*R.U. Heare is my father, Robert Ulysses Heare.


October 6, 2011 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, change, commentary, editorial, humor, Obama, politics, voting | , , , , , ,


  1. There’s one in every damned family eh? Well, at least dad isn’t a tea bagger.
    Of course if he was, your mom probably would have married someone else.
    Silver Lining. Cloud.
    You get the point.

    Comment by Rachael Black | October 6, 2011

    • I think the only reason why they got married was because my mother was pregnant with me. No protection + No pill = One child.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | October 7, 2011

  2. I am not sure why…but I think you have my vote…maybe its your staunch approach to the issues..oh wait i dont know what they are…maybe its cause i feel you will not invade my bomb shelter where i am storing my ten year supply on Wild Turkey and the turtle wax I won on the price is right. Or maybe its just the gosh darn feeling of not wanting Obama to screw anymore shit then he already has…either in the words of Don Mills…You have my goddamn vote…zman sends

    Comment by zmanowner | October 7, 2011

    • I can assure you that I will not be raiding your Wild Turkey. I should warn the people who are stockpiling Absolut Vodka that those could be raided if a shortage occurs. I need something to dilute the orange juice.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | October 7, 2011

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

%d bloggers like this: