Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I Warned You About Bieber!

I have said for a while that Justin Bieber was a Canadian spy whose mission was to help destroy the Great American Entertainment Industry.  It turns out I was correct, but that was not his only mission.  It turns out that Justin Bieber was sent by the Canadian government to destroy all that is America.

Justin performed a “concert” last year at Staples Center.  Afterwards, an adult American woman approached him.  Nine months later, Baby Bieber was born.  She was 19 at the time of the dirty deed while Bieber was 15.

She now wants child support for her child.  But in order to claim child support from Bieber, she is admitting that she had an affair with a minor.  Here are the problems:

  • Baby Bieber was born in the United States and thus is an American citizen.
  • If Baby Bieber’s mom pursues the child support, Bieber’s parents could counter with statutory rape.
  • Bieber could request to become an American citizen to raise his American child.  This would just be a front as he is loyal to Canada.
  • He could also request that he and his parents raise the Bieber Baby in Canada.  When the Bieber Baby turns 18, he or she could move the United States and already be a citizen based on birth and raised to be a Canadian spy.
Once I become president, Bieber will immediately be deported to Canada (possibly as soon as the inauguration ceremony.  I would make an executive order that would prohibit an American-born child of a spy to become an American citizen.  (I would try to go through Congress and have them make it law first, but I am not holding my breath.)  I would pardon the mother of Bieber Baby’s mother under the provisions that she can be the sole guardian of the baby and that the baby never goes to Canada.
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November 2, 2011 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, entertainment, humor, satire, scandal | , , , ,

5 Comments

  1. Haha, sounds brilliant, 100% behind that! Can we Brits vote? But seriously, loved it and enjoying the blog!

    Comment by literarydormouse | November 2, 2011

  2. What IS a Bieber? You’re positive that this is not a mistaken misspelling of ‘Beaver’ which are known to be a national animal of Canada.

    Comment by Rachael Black | November 3, 2011

    • Maybe he is a dressed up beaver

      Comment by bearman | November 3, 2011

    • A “Bieber” is a pop singer that rots the brains of 8-year old girls. As an animal, he more resembles a weasel than a beaver. (Though some would have him closer to pussy.)

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | November 3, 2011


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