Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

How I View Other Candidates

I look at the candidates who are running for President and conclude that I must run for President.  People need a good choice.  This entry isn’t about me as much as how I see the other candidates and why I can’t vote for the other candidates.

Barack Obama (D) – Incumbent – When he was pushing “Hope and Change”, I was hoping for hope and change.  We didn’t get that, but we did get George W. Bush’s third term.

Mitt Romney (R) – The resident snake oil / used car salesman.  I’m waiting for him to say, “What will it take to get you to vote for me today?”

Newt Gingrich (R) – aka “The Newtered One” – The snake from which Romney gets his oil to sell.  Gingrich is like the weather in Cleveland:  If you don’t like his platform, wait five minutes.  And like the Cleveland weather, it probably won’t be better, but it will change.

Ron Paul – (R) – Actually a pretty good candidate for a Republican, but will be best known as the candidate whose exposure on TV was mostly about how he doesn’t get exposure on TV.

Michele Bachmann – (R) – A rather simple debate strategy: “Barack Obama has failed at _______.”  As a foster mother of over 20 children, I envision her as putting bad people in a “time-out corner” with that corner in the United States being in northeastern Maine in the winter.

Rick Santorum – (R) – A man of faith whose mission is to declare war on Syria and Iran in the name of the “Prince of Peace.”  I don’t think Jesus approves of all the wars.

Rick Perry – (R) – He is the weird uncle that always shows up at family functions.

Jon Huntsman – (R) – A reasonable man with a couple of good ideas and some hot daughters.  The type of candidate people say they want, but end up voting for people with bad ideas like Obama, Romney, and Gingrich.

Gary Johnson (R) – The 2012 version of Ron Paul in 2008.  A libertarian messenger who doesn’t get to debate often.

Buddy Roemer (R) – The family member who has been misowned by the rest of the family.

Wayne Allyn Root (L) – He is trying to Republicanize the Libertarian Party.  He is a morph of Mitt Romney the salesman and Michele Bachmann the debater.

R. Lee Wrights (L) – A libertarian candidate in the Libertarian Party.  He’d eat smarty-pants Gingrich for lunch in a debate based on the writings of Wrights I have read.  A good man, but his party tends to shoot itself in the foot when it comes to political strategy.

Cynthia McKinney (G?) – A former Democratic Congresswoman who is not afraid to take on the establishment.  Painted as a “whacko” because the establishment does not like people who challenge it.

Jimmy McMillan (RITDH) – Stalking on his political opponents quietly and waiting for his moment to pounce.  Reminded America that the rent is too damned high.

Ahmnodt Heare (I) – An average guy who is trying to take money out of politics by not accepting donations and not spending money on the campaign.

There is the tale of the tape.  Vote wisely for me.


December 11, 2011 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, commentary, economy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Good overview of all the candidates and yes, the logical conclusion is to vote Ahmnodt Heare. However, for your campaign strategy (the bathroom poster strategy) to succeed it’ll take a ton of volunteers making one hell of alot of visits to bathroom stalls. That’s where the rubber meets the road (tile?) in 2012.

    Comment by John P Slevin | December 11, 2011

    • The Bathroom Poster strategy is a small part of the overall strategy. I am trying to think of indoor strategies for the winter months as it is too cold in some parts of the country to do stuff outdoors.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 11, 2011

  2. Ahmondt, I sincerely believe that this post needs to be published via flyers and news media. Who else but you COULD bring real change and hope. You are not a career politician, which equals: not bought and paid for.

    Dug the post and your on the head descriptions of the other candidates. Still smiling.

    As for the winter reading problem.. have you ever considered taking a full page ad out in the Sears catalog?

    ~LIVE from your supporter and reporter in Reno’s finest 17F outhouse in Reno

    Comment by Rachael Black | December 12, 2011

    • Just so you know, corncobs are virtually impossible to write on with a sharpie. don’t ask me how I know this.

      Comment by Rachael Black | December 12, 2011

      • It’s even harder with a ball-point pen.

        Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 12, 2011

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