Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Inside the Numbers

The business courses I took in college has helped me look at numbers without getting overly baffled or falling asleep.  Unemployment numbers are supposedly falling, but there are some things I am seeing that would tend to seem otherwise.

One of the things I look at when determining unemployment rates is traffic over a course of a day.  Traffic should be heaviest between 6:00AM and 9:00AM and between 3:00PM and 6:00PM.  The roads are usually light between 9:00AM and 3:00PM with the only people driving are seniors, stay-at-home moms and dads, people who drive as part of their job, and the unemployed.

While the senior population is rising, it is not rising at a skyrocketing rate.  stay-at-home moms are working raising children.  They drive to the supermarket and to stores shopping for the family during the day (often with their children.)  People who drive as part of their jobs include pizza deliverers, police, sales and businesspeople, and drug dealers.  Traffic from these people hasn’t increased.

This leaves the unemployed.  I know that the spike is from unemployment because traffic has gotten lighter during rush hours (especially the morning rush, when many unemployed people are still sleeping.)  One would think the unemployed would spend their driving time driving to job interviews and to businesses to pick up job applications.  But they also can be found at places people who have a limited income due to a lack of a job probably do not belong.  They can be found at stores, at the gym (membership fees are not cheap), and at the nudie bar.

I usually determine economic growth by a different measurement than the numbers spewed by business publications.  I determine the growth of the economy by the number of tractor-trailers on the interstates.  The more tractor-trailers on the interstates, the more goods are being delivered and bought and the better the economy is.  There hasn’t been a lot of trucks on the highways for a couple of years with no real increase worth bragging about.  Notice there hasn’t been a story about a tired truck driver causing an accident lately?  It could be because there are fewer loads that need to be delivered.  There are also fewer tractor-trailer driving school commercials on TV during Jerry Springer.

When you hear a statistic, it is important to find the meaning of the statistic.  If the things you are seeing are contradicting the numbers, then chances are you are correct and the numbers are wrong.


December 22, 2011 - Posted by | commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , ,


  1. BTW, I hate the timeline shit. That’s not even remotely intelligible.

    Not to slander your Zombie followers (and I had at least a large influence in getting you to recognize and to embrace those essential followers).

    The bleepin’ timeline makes no sense to anyone and I am one of your followers who can interpret difficult signals, who can read and all that complicated shit no one else has any real use for, like, you know?

    Here’s where there is a disconnect. You got the Zombies, and then you go and announce this toilet stall strategy.

    Now, Ahmnodt, Zombies don’t eat so how can they either shit or piss?

    I think this a fair question with obvious implications.

    Comment by John P. Slevin | December 22, 2011

    • The bathroom stall strategy is meant to reach people who have yet to discover the campaign. The zombies know about my campaign and don’t need to be introduced to me.

      I don’t know about the bathroom habits about zombies. I am assuming it’s not a political issue. But I doubt that Kim Jung Il was a zombie, though I am sure I will hear from him soon.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | December 22, 2011

  2. Oh the government figure are so obfuscated and twisted that year after year they have been proven wrong.
    Am off to do research (and hopefully publish in the American Journal of Forensic Studies) the true habits of zombie toilet habits.

    Comment by Rachael Black | January 3, 2012

    • I look forward to reading that study. It may be a political issue after all.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | January 3, 2012

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