I had a dream that I won the election and became President. That’s not the weird part. I won 454 of the 538 electoral votes. (I lost in New York and California.) That’s not the weird part either. The weird part was that I had absolutely no press coverage. I wasn’t mentioned in any polls, there was no cheating on either my part or by any of my supporters. The reactions by the election night hosts on the networks were from bewildered to outrage. Below are some of the few reactions:
- CNN – Anderson Cooper kept mumbling, “Ahmnodt Heare” while looking like Wolf Blitzer just ripped a “Silent-but-Deadly.”
- MSNBC – Chris Matthews blew a gasket. “Who the **** is Ahmnodt Heare? How in the **** did he win? Seriously, who is he?”
- Fox News chose not to mention my name. They ran with “Obama Defeated” without mentioning who beat him.
- Current TV – Keith Olbermann said, “November 6, 2012 – Americans played ‘Oddball’ and hit the jackpot!”
- CBS News did have some ground reporters talking to people who voted for me. They also had a countdown to December 21 on the bottom of the screen.
- NBC News managed to find out something about me. Kelly O’Donnell was reading my platform to the audience. Luke Russert alternated moments between agony and outright laughter.
- ABC News was looking to get President Obama’s reaction to his shocking loss.
My father called me and told me that TMZ was around his neighborhood looking for dirt on me. TMZ does not want me to become president because a large part of their business is following and reporting on Cinemafia stars.
Twitter was abuzz with the election. The leading trend the entire night was either “Ahmnodt Heare” or “Who is Ahmnodt Heare.” Other keywords pertaining to my campaign included, “Cinemafia”, “Vanna White Supremacist”, and “Orgies for Abstinence.”
The more I look back at the dream, the more I can envision the entire dream happening as I recalled it. The part most likely to happen is the mainstream media being left in the dark as to how I won. I’ll probably end up having my first interview as President-Elect with Alex Jones.
February 26, 2012 - Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, media, politics, satire, Social Networking, Vanna White | Alex Jones, Anderson Cooper, CBS News, Chris Matthews, Current TV, Fox News, Keith Olbermann, Kelly O'Donnell, Luke Russert, mainstream media, Mayan calendar, Oddball, TM, trends, Twitter, Wolf Blitzer
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Ahmnodt Heare is a
fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
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