Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Weird Dream

I had a dream that I won the election and became President.  That’s not the weird part.  I won 454 of the 538 electoral votes. (I lost in New York and California.)  That’s not the weird part either.  The weird part was that I had absolutely no press coverage.  I wasn’t mentioned in any polls, there was no cheating on either my part or by any of my supporters.  The reactions by the election night hosts on the networks were from bewildered to outrage.  Below are some of the few reactions:

  • CNN – Anderson Cooper kept mumbling, “Ahmnodt Heare” while looking like Wolf Blitzer just ripped a “Silent-but-Deadly.”
  • MSNBC – Chris Matthews blew a gasket.  “Who the **** is Ahmnodt Heare?  How in the **** did he win?  Seriously, who is he?”
  • Fox News chose not to mention my name.  They ran with “Obama Defeated” without mentioning who beat him.
  • Current TV – Keith Olbermann said, “November 6, 2012 – Americans played ‘Oddball’ and hit the jackpot!”
  • CBS News did have some ground reporters talking to people who voted for me.  They also had a countdown to December 21 on the bottom of the screen.
  • NBC News managed to find out something about me.  Kelly O’Donnell was reading my platform to the audience.  Luke Russert alternated moments between agony and outright laughter.
  • ABC News was looking to get President Obama’s reaction to his shocking loss.

My father called me and told me that TMZ was around his neighborhood looking for dirt on me.  TMZ does not want me to become president because a large part of their business is following and reporting on Cinemafia stars.

Twitter was abuzz with the election.  The leading trend the entire night was either “Ahmnodt Heare” or “Who is Ahmnodt Heare.”  Other keywords pertaining to my campaign included, “Cinemafia”, “Vanna White Supremacist”, and “Orgies for Abstinence.”

The more I look back at the dream, the more I can envision the entire dream happening as I recalled it.  The part most likely to happen is the mainstream media being left in the dark as to how I won.  I’ll probably end up having my first interview as President-Elect with Alex Jones.


February 26, 2012 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, issues, media, politics, satire, Social Networking, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Well, sounds like you have a very good memory for your dreams! I can barely remember what i was doing in a dream, but you can remember what the TV reporters were saying about you – phenomenal!

    Comment by Marc Phillippe Babineau | February 26, 2012

    • I only remembered it because it was weird. Regular everyday stuff is harder to remember.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 26, 2012

  2. I can see it now, Fox News won’t mention you by name for the entire four years you are in office.

    Comment by valentinelogar | February 26, 2012

    • Fox News will eventually mention my name. They’ll criticize everything I do, even if it’s standard Republican policy. Barack Obama has been doing that for the most part for the past three years.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 26, 2012

  3. If that happens, Maybe the Mayans were right after all…haha

    Comment by Bearman | February 27, 2012

    • I think it would be the other way around. If you turn out to be correct, it is because other countries will want to mess with us before I take office.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 27, 2012

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