Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Orgies for Abstinence V

The United States have historically fought wars for peace. It must be working because we have been doing it for years. It is in this spirit that I believe we should promote abstinence through orgies.

Certain events prevented me from planning the last two “Orgies for Abstinence”, which could explain why they went so well.  I am back and want this to be the best ever!  Official “Orgies for Abstinence” events are held twice a year:

  • The first Friday after Easter – This assures that all those who had chosen to give up abstinence for Lent to participate.  (April 13 is the Friday after Easter in 2012.)
  • Election Night – This is an activity that allows Americans what it is like to be a politician.

I am a firm believer in abstinence.  The government has been saying that the “War on Drugs” has been working and that wars in the Middle East will bring a lasting peace.  It is in this spirit that I started the “Orgies for Abstinence” movement.  As of right now, there are 45 days until Orgies for Abstinence V.

Historically, I have involved myself with women who have been gung-ho for abstinence.  This is even after the alcohol I had given them.  They’re not giving in whether I am playing Barry Manilow, Barry White, or Betty White.

You can host your own event as many have in the past.  I have had them in hotel rooms in the past, but this year I will host it at my place.  If I want to drive a message home, it only makes sense that I drive it to my home as well as other places.

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February 27, 2012 - Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , ,

17 Comments

  1. The war on drugs is going so well they just can’t build the prisons (federal, ultra-max no less) to house all the God-killing pot smokers out there….

    Comment by Marc Phillippe Babineau | February 27, 2012

    • The US needs to rethink their drug policy. Every time a pothead is locked up, Frito-Lay loses $500 in sales. Frito-Lay is one of the few US companies that manufactures anything (Albeit snacks). The last thing we need is Frito-Lay laying off people!

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 27, 2012

  2. Ahmnodt, I pledge to hold the Reno branch of Orgies for Abstinence at my home. BYOC (bring your own condoms).
    As an atheist I plan my own political putsch DURING lent. It;s just so politically fabulous that I’m inviting Mr. Santorum

    Comment by Rachael Black | February 28, 2012

    • had to re-blog at YoYo-Dyne ‘waves at flag’

      Comment by Rachael Black | February 28, 2012

    • Getting Santorum at your event would be a coup! The other “Orgies for Abstinence” events will be frothing with envy.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 28, 2012

  3. Reblogged this on YoYo-Dyne Propulsion Labs: Reno Division and commented:
    And now an Important Message from the Candidate for the Rest of Us. You know… with brains

    Comment by Rachael Black | February 28, 2012

  4. I am working on pamphlets that can be distributed at “Orgies for Abstinence.” The pamphlet is called, “Child Support:He Loses, She Loses, and the Children Lose” or something like that…

    Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 28, 2012

  5. Going to have to make sure I “accidentally” stroll past the republican club for this.
    They try to keep it under wraps, but I understand the last orgies were where Santorum and Bachmann decided to run. You know, to spread the word…

    Comment by El Guapo | February 28, 2012

    • Rumor has it that Bachmann’s husband knows more about santorum than he’s willing to admit.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 28, 2012

  6. let the beating commence, had to post to Facebook where all my Right leaning friends can throttle me

    Comment by valentinelogar | February 28, 2012

    • I am hoping this reaches the far right, the far left, and the far out.

      Comment by Ahmnodt Heare | February 28, 2012

  7. […] are now underway for Orgies for Abstinence V.  I thought I had pamphlets left over from Orgies for Abstinence IV, but I do not.  I […]

    Pingback by Starting From Scratch « Ahmnodt Heare for President | February 28, 2012

  8. I will host the one for SC. All the Bible thumping around here can just lay a beat. I am considering radio advertisements, since there is not internet here.
    Red.

    Comment by Red | February 29, 2012

    • Maybe you can take an ad out on them thar new fangled ray-dee-oh contraptions?

      Comment by El Guapo | February 29, 2012

      • I was thinking of hiring one of the HAM operators as a commentator. He can act as a translator.
        Red.

        Comment by Red | February 29, 2012

      • hahahahaha. Red, wish I could join you and EG at your local events -grin-

        Comment by Rachael Black | February 29, 2012


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