Orgies for Abstinence V
The United States have historically fought wars for peace. It must be working because we have been doing it for years. It is in this spirit that I believe we should promote abstinence through orgies.
Certain events prevented me from planning the last two “Orgies for Abstinence”, which could explain why they went so well. I am back and want this to be the best ever! Official “Orgies for Abstinence” events are held twice a year:
- The first Friday after Easter – This assures that all those who had chosen to give up abstinence for Lent to participate. (April 13 is the Friday after Easter in 2012.)
- Election Night – This is an activity that allows Americans what it is like to be a politician.
I am a firm believer in abstinence. The government has been saying that the “War on Drugs” has been working and that wars in the Middle East will bring a lasting peace. It is in this spirit that I started the “Orgies for Abstinence” movement. As of right now, there are 45 days until Orgies for Abstinence V.
Historically, I have involved myself with women who have been gung-ho for abstinence. This is even after the alcohol I had given them. They’re not giving in whether I am playing Barry Manilow, Barry White, or Betty White.
You can host your own event as many have in the past. I have had them in hotel rooms in the past, but this year I will host it at my place. If I want to drive a message home, it only makes sense that I drive it to my home as well as other places.
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February 27, 2012 -
Posted by Ahmnodt Heare |
Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | alcohol, Barry Manilow, Barry White, Betty White, orgies for abstinence, politicians, War on Drugs
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Ahmnodt Heare for President 
The war on drugs is going so well they just can’t build the prisons (federal, ultra-max no less) to house all the God-killing pot smokers out there….
The US needs to rethink their drug policy. Every time a pothead is locked up, Frito-Lay loses $500 in sales. Frito-Lay is one of the few US companies that manufactures anything (Albeit snacks). The last thing we need is Frito-Lay laying off people!
If they come up with a way to grow corn in China,,,
Ahmnodt, I pledge to hold the Reno branch of Orgies for Abstinence at my home. BYOC (bring your own condoms).
As an atheist I plan my own political putsch DURING lent. It;s just so politically fabulous that I’m inviting Mr. Santorum
had to re-blog at YoYo-Dyne ‘waves at flag’
Getting Santorum at your event would be a coup! The other “Orgies for Abstinence” events will be frothing with envy.
Reblogged this on YoYo-Dyne Propulsion Labs: Reno Division and commented:
And now an Important Message from the Candidate for the Rest of Us. You know… with brains
I am working on pamphlets that can be distributed at “Orgies for Abstinence.” The pamphlet is called, “Child Support:He Loses, She Loses, and the Children Lose” or something like that…
Going to have to make sure I “accidentally” stroll past the republican club for this.
They try to keep it under wraps, but I understand the last orgies were where Santorum and Bachmann decided to run. You know, to spread the word…
Rumor has it that Bachmann’s husband knows more about santorum than he’s willing to admit.
let the beating commence, had to post to Facebook where all my Right leaning friends can throttle me
I am hoping this reaches the far right, the far left, and the far out.
[…] are now underway for Orgies for Abstinence V. I thought I had pamphlets left over from Orgies for Abstinence IV, but I do not. I […]
I will host the one for SC. All the Bible thumping around here can just lay a beat. I am considering radio advertisements, since there is not internet here.
Red.
Maybe you can take an ad out on them thar new fangled ray-dee-oh contraptions?
I was thinking of hiring one of the HAM operators as a commentator. He can act as a translator.
Red.
hahahahaha. Red, wish I could join you and EG at your local events -grin-