Keeping it Simple

As a frontrunner, everything I do is magnified.  This is especially true of gaffes and miscues.  But it’s the innocent things a candidate does that can be construed in a wrong way.

One example is when I go to nudie bars.  I go to nudie bars for the eye candy.  I do not go to look for sex.  The night sometimes ends with sex because she’s a hottie and I have a radiant personality and she is impressed that I am running for President of the United States.

Sometimes I need to multitask.  When I went to get my car inspected last year, I brought my bills so I could pay them while I waited for the car to get inspected.  It was the first time I had used stamps that I didn’t have to lick to have it stick to the envelope.  I was talking to the person next to me waiting for his car to be inspected and mentioned that I missed the “lick-’em-and-stick-’em” stamps.  This was caught by the auto shop owner who thought I was talking about inspections.  I failed the inspection due to infractions like “blinkers blinked too slowly” and “spare tire not properly inflated.”

People who want to stop you will twist anything to make sure you are stopped.  I am making sure my activities are done with untwistable steel.