Staten Island Chuck
I don’t know Staten Island Chuck’s lifetime record is in Groundhog Day predictions, but for 2012, he beat Punxsutawney Phil 1-0. While Phil had predicted six more weeks of winter, Chuck predicted an early spring. February was the warmest month on record in the northeastern US and March looks like it will be the warmest March ever.
Those in the northeast will be happy to know that I will not be wasting my time going to Punxsutawney next February. I will instead go to Staten Island. It is a much shorter drive and it will be easier to get access to Chuck to spray pepper his eyes so he won’t see his shadow. This will allow another early spring for next year.
Thank you, Staten Island Chuck from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team for making this the nicest winter ever. I promise I won’t go overboard with the pepper spray next Groundhog Day and I’ll chuck the wood you would have wanted to chuck while you are recovering.
Choosing Staten Island over Punxsutawney is not without its side effects. I will have to pay to cross the Goethals Bridge. (The toll to cross the bridge is $12.) I will have to pick up a pair of earplugs to drown out Michael Bloomberg’s whiny voice. And because the Groundhog Day thingie is done in the morning, I will have to fight rush hour traffic pretty much the entire route. (70 miles or at least 1 1/2 hours of rush-hour traffic)
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About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
I was thinking Chuck doesn’t predict till now..hha
He predicts. He’s just newer at it than Phil is so Phil gets all of the media love.
$12 to cross a stinkin bridge? That should be your campaign…
It gets worse. It’s $13.00 to cross bridges from one NYC borough to another. New York charges a ton of money in tolls and gas taxes yet claims they don’t have enough money to fix the bridges and roads.